a walk to remember

was looking through my past 'like' and 'favourites' on youtube and after watching a few videos, i got to A Walk to Remember -- and found this.



by the way, i have yet opened my new CD, Camel :) waiting for you.
i check my email every day.  just lately, my time has been messed up.

i think yeah, i'm getting more sick again.  been having constant headaches -- i think going outside 6am in the morning and waiting for my bus with wet hair isn't good idea.
more time to sleep > blow drying hair

i love eggs

I just recently remembered this, my sister showed this to me years ago (back in elementary) and I remember being so addicted to it.



There's actually an official Korean-English site for this franchise (with cartoons and all). Link below:
http://www.iloveegg.com/eng_index.htm

happier posts

decided to post happier stuff instead of ranting.

especially since more stress will be coming around the corner right after art exam.

cute commercials 8) turns out they're beans. HAHA! I was so addicted to these after seeing them in between anime episodes.

tired, so tired.

kept postponing to figure out how to fix my insomnia and some other issues. :\

but the sleepless night did help me finish editing some art photos.
still need to get about three more projects finished, hopefully. (1 - 2 video?)
need to start my history homework, english, japanese and math. -sigh-

yeah, every year i tell myself not to procrastinate, but i always do.

oh and i have biology. -sigh-

anyways,
kind of got over a crisis i guess,
more problems to come when school starts...
when the after effects of the crisis really hits.

head hurts and the back of my wrist have been itchy.
hope i'm not allergic to something... D:
don't need more problems, ugh...skin problem.

for five hours

today, tonight, i realized the power of words.
the importance of last words.

glass shards all over the black pavement.
blue and red flashing lights surrounding everything.
air bags deflated. 1/4 of a bumper way off where it should be.

my heart pounded. i felt my stomach churn.
tears threatening to fall. it was hard to breathe. it was cold.

men asking questions.
i keep trying to look for answers but bits and pieces were blocking.
safe?

my tears finally streamed down my cheeks.
a sigh of relief as i saw that my imagination was wrong.
my worse nightmare did not occur.

five hours in the hospital emergency room.

finally home.

last words...

i think ; . . .

the moment you feel most alone, like you're the only one out and no one understands you, is not when you are alone in a room...

but when you're in a crowd of people, but you don't feel 'together'.

i think this disconnected feeling from people makes you feel so deserted and isolated. its unbearable.

--

guess it makes sense, right?

seeing everyone laughing and happy, but you're unable to feel the same or connect the same way.  it's an 'in-your-face-you-lonely-person' slap across your cheeks.

the isolation you have to experience though you're an arms reach away from another being, another connection.  whereas on the other hand, if you are physically alone...you can always think that it's because no one is around and you're alone.

but that idea, the little sparkle, that if there was someone to be with you, then you won't be alone...kind of makes you feel like it's not you, but it's the universe's fault.

in a crowd, that disconnection with everyone...there's no running away from the fact that there is something wrong with you because you can't connect...or there's something wrong with you because you're being excluded.

i think that's the most unbearable loneliness one can feel. at least this is what i think.

my obsession ; Frankie J