Sunday, August 11, 2013

finally summer and I still can't stop lying to myself

Finally finished my accounting final and Frosh work is pretty much done (training on Thursday!).  We are currently about to order the volunteer and attendees shirts and most of the swag are done (I hope).  At least my part is done.

Can't believe it's finally summer and with all the extra time, I realized I have so much to do...but back to my old self again: where I am too lazy to do it.
My baking, my writing, my art, videos, photography, blogging, music, manga, anime, movies, dramas, and just about everything!

Honestly, I don't know where I want to start.

But after thinking about it for a bit...I think I'm just scared of failure...
what it my stories aren't well received?
What if I fail?

Then my dreams will be crushed...or that lil' tiny motivation I have.
I guess that's also why I tend to cram studying for my finals...
it gives me that little glimmer of to think: Well, I didn't try my best, that's why I didn't do so well. If I did try hard, I would've done better.

I think I'm most tempted to continue my writing, but all I have written were fanfictions and I really don't know how to dive in there...

-sigh- I'll keep thinking about it and probably try and blog more, not that much of this is being read.

Sunday, August 4, 2013

a month since

I can't believe it's been a month since I last blogged...

It's more shocking to know that it's been a month since I've been to Vegas and finished my case competition and just now it's finals time! Time really does go by fast...but at this moment, it's very slow.
Laying in my bed still, I have been up since 11 and it feels like it's been 5 hours though it's only 1:33pm right now.

Today suppose to be my study day, but I just can't get rid of the feeling of starting something new.  I watched the movie: What to Expect When You're Expecting, a comedy, to basically cheer myself up due to a bad day at work (full of burns and just...mean customers, but also really nice ones too) and a 'scary' event that occurred too...
where the creeper came by my work place again and saw me after work, when I was heading out the washroom, but that's a story for another time.

It has also been bugging me how I stopped writing my stories now...or just writing in general since I rarely blog.  I also stopped doodling/drawing.  Nothing really is stopping me, other than laziness, but it just makes me feel like I'm not really myself.  At the same time, nothing is really pushing me to either...
and now I just want to start a new project...or multiple begin my movie reviewing again (so it will encourage me to watch movies again), to start/finish my stories and ideas, to doodling in my dream journal again (since my dreams are coming back), and to actually cook/bake and blog.

My exercise plan will come next.
So...what to do first?
I think I'll go watch a movie...and maybe study later.