i think ; . . .

the moment you feel most alone, like you're the only one out and no one understands you, is not when you are alone in a room...

but when you're in a crowd of people, but you don't feel 'together'.

i think this disconnected feeling from people makes you feel so deserted and isolated. its unbearable.

--

guess it makes sense, right?

seeing everyone laughing and happy, but you're unable to feel the same or connect the same way.  it's an 'in-your-face-you-lonely-person' slap across your cheeks.

the isolation you have to experience though you're an arms reach away from another being, another connection.  whereas on the other hand, if you are physically alone...you can always think that it's because no one is around and you're alone.

but that idea, the little sparkle, that if there was someone to be with you, then you won't be alone...kind of makes you feel like it's not you, but it's the universe's fault.

in a crowd, that disconnection with everyone...there's no running away from the fact that there is something wrong with you because you can't connect...or there's something wrong with you because you're being excluded.

i think that's the most unbearable loneliness one can feel. at least this is what i think.