different sort of pain...

in my life, i have felt this sort of pain twice.
except this time it's permanent.
first time feeling this sort of pain...
so unbearable and heart wrenching...

feels like the world is gone
and i have lost a huge part of me...never to get it back.
and the chances of it is slim...
even if i grow that part of me back..it won't be the same.

this sudden change...
that happened in an instant.
a snap, a cut...
bam!
it's over...
feels so unreal...
can't register.

after more than a year, i still haven't fully register i have graduated highschool.
(i still think it's a temporary thing)
and now i need to realize this? face this?

i dont think i can.
i dont think i ever can.