Monday, July 23, 2012

domino effect

never really thought that my actions or selfish requests could really do anything.
never did i imagine 2 more hours could do so much and that i would be the cause of something so unfortunate, so awful, so devastating.  never thought i would ruin something to a point where i would cause so much distress and sadness for some one or some people.

after much tears, runny noses and more tears
my dad helped me calm down and think.

did i really do all this? am i really the cause?

despite all the voices saying it wasn't my fault and i can't really do anything; nor should i be scared
i still think so.
ultimately, it was my request, my actions, my idea
that led to all this.
in the end,
i'm still scared. so scared.

scared of any sort of confrontation
scared of the end. a real ending.
scared of future hardships.
scared of what will come next,
whatever comes next.

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