Closing Ceremony.

Now, I must say, the closing ceremony was awesome! Sadly, I missed the opening ceremony (so tired that I fell alseep D:), so seeing the closing ceremony was very lucky of me since it's a Sunday!

I thought it was funny, the comedian parts..(I think it's the comedian part..) and when the giant moose and beavers were floating around. That was hilarious and so cute. The giant hockey players and that little boy being the puck was very very cute and creative. I thought the closing ceremony was well done. The effects and everything was awesome. xD

-sigh- it's quite sad that the Olympics is ending though. I wish I actually did go to a game or something. I want some olympic gears D: I will try and aquire one soon. I'm proud I did watch parts of the hockey games, the single free style skating, some curling, men's skating, etc. etc. Glad that I did watch parts of things ><"'' haha.

It's still unbelievable and amazing that the Olympics was here, right next to me. The whole world coming here together to see these events. It's very heartmoving, watching the playbacks earlier. Watching the playbacks on the special moments when we won our first Gold, when we won our last Gold...it was heart-moving watching us win...in general. The athletes' hard work is definitely shown in these games and their efforts obviously helped make the olympics much more enjoyable for us all. -sigh- it's still a pity the olympics is over. I will definitely look out for that paralympics...perhaps watch some events when I have free time. =)

Anyways, time to start on science...D:

olympics : proud Canadian

14 GOLD!!
14 GOLD!!
14 GOLD!!
14 GOLD!!
14 GOLD!!

do I have to say any more?

I feel SO proud to be Canadian. <3
And we have FREE HEALTH CARE as well xD

sleep.

Can't sleep and I'm somewhat sick. I think I should really get some sleeping pills or something. For the last 2 days, I was relying on cold medicine's drowsy effects, but I suppose those aren't exactly good for me. That's why I didn't take any today...and I'm not getting any sleep.

YAY GINTAMA.

winglin.

winglin isn't working again..still. I have been checking. Don't blame me for not updating!

But GRRR...if Winglin NEVER works and I lose ALL my stories and chapters and all that, I am going to be p'ssed for the rest of my life =D I can totally 100% garauntee that. I doubt I will have the courage, patience and etc. etc. to rewrite all my stories. Even if I could, it won't be the same! -sigh- Next time, I'm SO saving them on a USB or something.

my first fanfic: Enfinitia...D: All gone!! The Game of Death...Awake and Dreaming...If Only You Knew...From Another Era...Missiona A...A s e v e n Day Project...Escelatici Academy...Enfinitia: Reservoir...GONE GONE GONEEE!!! -cries-

finally.

Finally, I have finished watching the long-awaited DAYBREAKERS. Although it wasn't the best movie I have ever watched, and it wasn't as good as I predicted, it was still awesome. So many guts and gores so they're plenty materials to keep me awake the whole night ;D -laughs- good luck to me.

I have also started watching a bit of the Law Abiding Citizen. The beginning wasn't gorey like Daybreakers, but just the idea was digusting. They never show you anything gross, but they leave it hanging, showing you only bits and pieces of it, leaving everything to your imagination. That was sick! -sigh-

DAYBREAKERS! ETHAN HAWKE! Even though he's SO much older, I still love him. He's so 'hawt' and good looking, etc etc. I don't know. I just find him so vampire-looking. He looks good as a vampire in Daybreakers, that's for sure. He looks so cool! He just has this...edge to him and the classic s*xy kind of style. I don't know how to describe xD Haha.

ANYWAYS, my English tutor class was cancelled tommorow so I'm free. I do have to do some homework so I won't have too much on one day. I probably won't do it today, I'm hoping to either update my story (if Winglin works) or to work on my artwork. I'm trying to redraw a picture because my dress design is so flawed.

Good lucks to me, I will be blogging later.

pockymeji.

[Today is my first day walking to school and back! YAY ME! xD]

grrr...

Don't you just hate it when you need to ask people something (like homework), but the whole world just don't seem to be online, nor is anyone picking up the phone?

s**** them!

gone.

Dad left, I ended up crying again. Even though it's been the millionth time he leaves, I will continue to always cry. Even though he always comes back in two or three months, I will still be just as excited for his arrival.

-sigh-
I'm so tired. From now on, I have to start walking to school EVERY day and walking back. It takes around 20-30 minutes to walk there and another 20-30 minutes to walk back. So tiring. I hate walking, I'm already tired out from earlier, my first walk home. My eyes are dying and I feel so sleepy.

Where are my classmates when I need to ask them what's for homework? I feel angry I left my social textbook at school...I hope I didn't get the wrong one...-sigh-

I must not fall asleep. No naps, or it will ruin my time. -mental slap-

drowning...

drowning in depression...ish.
SO tired, it's not even funny.
I slept for so long, but still no help
I have no idea why it's so tiring
Dad is leaving tomorrow, going to have to walk
I miss my dad already
I ran out of chocolate eggies...
Even though I resolves one issue, plenty more still lingers
so tired.
so much homework.

sigh.

Rain music and Chocolate.

My depressing mood has been lifted and blown away. I guess the chocolate eggies accompanied by Bi Rain's music really does help the soul. I was listening to: I'm coming, Love Story, I do, Freeway, With U, and Sad Tango. I also listened to I think I love you and the other main Full House OST. :D

The chocolate eggies, I had the pink, blue and green ones. No yellow (I'm saving them).

At the moment, it's 12:38am and I SHOULD start my homework, which is a lot, but instead...I'm art-stalking...again.

And I was texting. Perhaps I'm a text-addict now? No new anime today. D:

emotional feelings make you physically tired.

I feel like I just got dumped or something...eating chocolate eggies to cheer up. ):

bumps.

Throughout your life, you are bound to face problems that will teach you new things, give you knew knowledge and experience which makes you a better person.

At the moment, I am going facing two new problems.

I'm getting really tired now, thinking so much, avoiding, facing...just everything. It's all taking too much energy out of me, and with school and all that, I'm even more tired. I just wish I could throw it all away in the trash bin or something. At the moment, I'm both my problems. Do I really have such a horrible temper? Do I always seem like I'm mad or something?

I'm quite disappointed and sad how my friends just don't seem to understand me. Maybe I'm expecting too much from people, but it just makes me so disappointed when I want someone to understand me, but they don't. It feels like no one knows me at all. It's been years since I've been like this, but still, no one understands and it makes me feel like I'm changing the way I'm acting...or people are just IGNORING me.

Again, the whole ignoring situation. How hard is it, really, to understand the fact that I hate repeating what I say, I hate being ignored, and when I repeat the same thing 3 times...I will definitely be mad and I won't be saying it again.
Honestly, I doubt anyone wants to be ignored, so how hard is it to just spare 3 seconds to listen to what I have to say? I hate waiting. I hate waiting to TALK to someone, especially when there's no valid excuse. It's annoying how sometimes, I say something..and it takes someone 2000 years to finally respond to me, especially when I'm asking about homework.

"Congratz! You have answered me half an hour later...when I already asked 3 different people!"

-sigh- I'm really asking for too much, aren't I?

Another problem I'm avoiding is just how I feel in general. Feeling so mixed..and all this is really making me so tired. I don't want to go to school tommorow. Haha. Facing all these things and HOMEWORK..grr.

Well, basically, my dilemma is...I know the result to something...I know what will happen, but I'm still so tempted to do it. It's just something that has happened to me quite a couple of time. Like, even though I know the ending will be awful and I will be upset, disappointed, angry or just things will end up in a disgusting situation, but still...I would just stick my head in and continue on. Perhaps it's for self-satisfication, but I really have to stop. I really need someone to just yell at me and tell me 'NO'!

Please, just slap me or something...hard. I hate how I need to just snap awake. Just like how I really needed to know X is bad, he's shallow, mean and just...really not the person I thought he was. When I saw that, I felt like I can really just let go...
Hearing that he likes someone else helped as well..though it still hurts...
of course.

I'm so clingy. It's so
annoying and
disgusting.
Ugh.

hmmmm...

You know, I'm just thinking...to be honest, I'm not really going through a really hard time. Yes, there may be problems in my life, but compared to many others, I'm pretty fortunate. I guess I'll just be grateful for what I have now, the friends I have, the things I have and the many amazing experiences I have gone through.

I'll probably look back at myself later on, thinking I'm such a complaining b**** and I'm VERY ungrateful, so this will hopefully be my changing point.

I also don't want to be a hypocrite because I REALLY hate how some people complain about their lives and how much they hate it and want to die because compared to my life, there's is SO much more better. And to be honest, my life isn't that bad so overall, they are just fortunate spoiled brats who have nothing to do, but complain about every little thing that doesn't go their way. Like honestly, if their life isn't as bad as mine...then how bad could it be?

-sigh-

Anyways, I also really dislike how some people -cough- the 'Jerk' -cough- asks me for my opinion, then completely go against it. What's the point? They make up a whole bunch of bs to go against my opinion, which they seek. I really hate giving opinions and ideas to people like that...people who never accepts them. Grrrrr...

Anyways, I'm almost done my English! Yay!
I still haven't watched Hagane no Renkinjutsushi or Hanasakeru Seishounen today. -sigh- hungry...I should get SUSHI. xD
Though it's late...

untitled.

I'm calmly eating my Cadbury Mini Eggs and talking to my friend as well as texting my childhood friend.

Although I seem calm and I'm loading my anime (about to watch, but my dad came in to stop me), I still have an English assignment, sitting there, waiting for me patiently...or so I thought.

Perhaps I should get started on writing that prompt I missed last day?

Well, maybe I should update If Only You Knew as well.

This feeling...

I came home for a while before I blogged this, but I still have this amazing feeling.

Marianas Trench was SOOOOO AMAZING!

I can't believe how close I was to them...to Josh! It still feels so surreal.
At first, I was at the back, but after people keep pushing me up and stepping on me, I end up being SOOOOOOO close. I'm still in awe.

Josh's singing was AMAZING and so beautiful. At one point, I was near crying at how beautiful and how amazing this whole experience is. I feel like I'm exaggerating.

Although it was SO squishy and I got hit in the head and stepped on...it was WORTH it! I felt very uncomfortable most of the time though. Like, I was stuck to these guys I don't know for most of the time and even turning my head was so hard. Felt so violated and exposed since my shirt was also riding up-ish. Either way, I guess it was worth it! I do wish I could take a picture with them or touch them ;D

At some point, I lost my cellphone! Through the swaying of clumped people, I met a very nice girl: Shiao Shiao, who helped me find my cellphone. And behind her, these two very kind guys tried helping as well. I felt VERY touched. In the end, PYL found it...felt like fate!

Anyways, I also met these 3 really nice girls who allowed my friends to move up in front of them to reunite with me. Most of the people just tried to cut through and seperate us, as well as hitting us during that process. -sigh-

So amazed. This has been such a wonderful experience.

I also got in contact with my first love / childhood friend! At the moment, I'm still texting him. Haha. He was so sweet, I feel like I made him though, but he talked to me on the phone the whole time till my dad arrived to pick me up. I guess I do feel horrible for making him stay on the phone with me. It's nice he did though. :P

Did I mention I'm over X? Well, yeah, I am. I realized he's really harsh in a way. When this girl, C, came over...he just completely ignores me and talks to her. How insulting. Even when I say hi to him (this is when I'm over him), he seems so unwilling to talk to me...even just replying. At the moment, I'm still amazed why I liked him. I guess it's because he's tall? Haha. And he runs fast. I guess it's because he runs faster than me, that was what I was amazed at. I feel so stupid for liking someone just because they run faster than me. Of course, I can't help, but like tall people. Perhaps it's because I'm short?

One day, I believe, I will be really tall...so I won't give up!

Anyways, I'm glad I went today. Perhaps I should upload the fuzzy videos I took?
My ears still hurt from the screams and my throat hurts from screaming. My back hurts from not properly stand, the swaying and being stuck to people. My heart hurts from suffocating as well. Haha.

Either way...I'm still so amazed.
SO SURREAL!! XDDD

I should go to bed soon, after a shower.

pockymeji.

Marianas Trench.

Well, sadly for me, I'm totally hyped up about tommorow so if any disappointments come...I will drop to the lowest pits of h***. Haha. YAMMY IS COMING ;D

Anyways, I still have yet touched my English tutor homework for tommorow and I'm starting to worry...not. I really should fix this procrastinating habit of mine. It's starting to suck. D:
I rather do today's crossword + Sudoku or just slack around and roam on Facebook (which is unlike me), instead of doing my English homework. To be honest, it's not that bad. Haha. I just don't want to write about Atticus from To Kill A Mockingbird, by Harper Lee, anymore. Too much!

I guess eventually, in 15 hours, this assignment will come back to haunt me.

TIME FOR GINTAMA =DDD
or did Durarara! updated today?

Pockymeji.

Yay.

I have passed and got into IB. Now it's all up to whether I manage to stay in it for the next 2 years or not...enduring the pain and torture. -sigh-

Tommorow is also the Marianas Trench concert LIVE @ the OZONE. =)
I will also be meeting a childhood friend there so yup. I realize I shouldn't get my hopes up too much though, since I always do and end up being disappointed...majorly. Anyways, still planning and hopefully, people will REPLY to my email and I can SUCCESSFULLY plan this all.

Anyways, I realized my blog entries are quite long.

-sigh- so tired and bored, I shall go take and nap and perhaps, wake up to do my tutor homework which I haven't touched and should be doing.

I also should work on my art and scan it on deviantart for a fellow friend of mine to color.

pockymeji.

family. help :(

I feel that perhaps, I am the world's most cold hearted and cruelest person ever.

I really despise how I think sometimes. I hate how I would feel anger, then I would forget about it and forgive. I hate how I hate that I forgive. Haha. So complicated, yes.

I had ask PYL once, what is family?


I feel that my family is a little wonky. We don't eat dinner together all the time at an exact time. In fact, we all eat at different times and not at the 'dinner table'. There is no 'dinner table' in this household. We don't have a christmas tree this year and we never do the whole santa claus thing. Never in my childhood, had I actually experience the whole santa claus thingy and receive presents from my parents since they buy my stuff at random times.

On TV, I always see parents being all loving and such, but my parents...they now sleep in seperate rooms. My mom has occupied the guest room and she never goes out with us anymore. She would always go out and come back late and such. I rarely talk to her.

I hate how sometimes, I try to be nice to her and such and I get mad at my sister for being so mean and cruel to her. When I tell my sister to stop, I realize my mom's actions are so...cold. I remember on Chinese New Year (Sunday), my brother's friends came over. We had hot pot and my mom kind of joined in. Once again, my sister was talking to her with thorns in every word. I told her to stop being so mean and she should just let it go. We got in a little arguement that lasted for 5 minutes, but it was all okay.

Afterwards, I saw how kind my mom was being to the kids, saying: "Eat more." She helped them get food (not that I mind since they are guests.) Afterwards, she told them she would clean up and they could leave the stuff behind and she will wash the dishes. Then, once they left, my dad came over (finally finished washing the dishes and preparing all the food for us), he was prepared to eat. My mom just left the dishes to my dad. I realized how cruel and cold she was.

At that time, I thought: My mom is so fake.

She also gave a red pocket to my brother...only him.

I hate how she's like this.
We're not a family anymore. I don't feel like I have a family. I'm just living with people under the same roof, no heart-warming, fuzzy family feelings.

I really pity my dad. He does the dishes, clean, laundry, pick us up from school and such. After he leaves, he has to go back to Hong Kong and work. All the money my mom is spending on her clothes, dresses, bags, shoes and all that are all my dad's money and she's not even speaking to him! I hate how my parents have no love.

I feel like my family is so messed up.

Even though I have problems, I don't feel like I can tell anyone since I don't want to put more weight onto my dad. He already has a lot to deal with. My younger brother has been feeling down lately and gets angry easily as well. I just wish we could go back to when we were younger. When my siblings and I would go all silly and my sister would trick my brother and I again and again. Even though I know she tricks me and she could be tricking me again, I would always fall for them.

I don't mind not living a fortunate life. I just want to experience a happy and heart-warming family. To be honest, I actually wish my parents would either just get back together or divorce. Right now, they're married, but in a way not. My mom is living in the same house as us, but not with us. I wish things aren't so wishy washy and more clear. I wish for so many things that won't come true.

I don't feel connected to anyone at all. Even though I love my dad, sister, brother and mom. In a way, I don't love them as well. Although I'm worried about them, I can't do anything. Everytime I try to help, I end up doing meaningless things that make things worst. I feel so far from them. They don't understand me. No one understands me. Not that anyone tries.

It's funny how no one knows what my favorite color, food, etc. etc. is. Well, I do tell people, but they tend to ignore what I'm saying, perhaps that's why no one knows? The thing is, I wonder if I WANT anyone to know....

-sigh- I should go to bed.

sigh.

Today, I have a free day. =D
There's absolutely no homework for today and I just had a great 5 hour nap and had dinner. Naruto updated (Sasuke is more retarded than ever), Love So Life is SOOOOO cute (the twins are just SO cute), and I found this adorable manga as well. Now I'm bored.

Today, in advisory, I also watched Patrick Chan skate for the first time and I must admit, he's good. Sadly, he slipped twice which affected his score. Instead, Evgeni Plushenko did really well. Either way, the skaters are amazing. -Sigh- they make skating look so easy! The way they twirl and glide around the rink makes it look so smooth and easy, but trust me, when I'm on ice, everything seems so rigid and...my movements just seem so harsh.

Anyways, I still really want to go and watch a movie. Haha. Perhaps I can, this week - some time. All I need is a movie buddy. I really need someone who loves movies as much as I do and could go watch movies with me most of the time. It's really had to find someone to go to the movies these days since the price has gone up and such.

--

Aside from those issues, I have been really getting annoyed with how people are ignoring me these days. Like when I'm talking, no one is listening and I keep having to repeat myself over and over again.

-Sigh- When I start getting annoyed and ticked off, I just end up stop talking, not that anyone notices that. What makes me think if they ignored me the first time, they would listen the second time? Haha.

Anyways, I seriously can't wait for Saturday! Marianas Trench!
I REALLY need to get rid of that stupid pimple on my nose before I see Marianas Trench. First impressions are everything. Haha, joking!

Well, tommorow is my IB interview. I'm not exactly scared...




...I think.

Must-watch animes.

After watching so many animes, I have seen MANY masterpieces. There are SO many GREAT animes out there that people haven't watched or think it's so over-rated and such. Sometimes, animes are just so amazing, I could literally just cry out.

I think people really should appreciate anime/manga more than they do now. To be honest, people just think anime is some cartoon that crazy asian fanatics and such watch/read. It's not just 'some cartoon'. Anime is ART. Anime is AMAZING.

Anime is a combination of Drawing, Designing, and Writing. Sometimes, some anime even have HISTORICAL connections which means, anime can also be education. Like how I learned about homunculus and the existence of alchemy through Fullmetal Alchmest. Plus, watching anime and reading manga will also help you learn the Japanese language.

Mangakas have to think up of the whole plot line for the manga/anime. They have to make up the characters, their pesonalites, their abilites (attack, powers, and such), and their costumes/outfits. They have to create the setting or research the setting and time period. They have to add twists and turns to make the plotline not cliche and they have to DRAW EVERYTHING out, every detail, basics, EVERYTHING!

Take Naruto for instance, the whole existence of Konoha, the Akatsuki, Naruto the character, the origins of the Naruto, this was all made up. It's amazing. Just the setting, Konoha village, is already drawn in detail, the mangaka also made up the many different villages and the conflict between them. The ranking of the ninjas and their jutsu, this all needs research and creativity. The names of the jutsu and each ninja's abilities. The different clans and what they're significant for. The crave of power from different people. The different antagonists (Akatsuki and Orochimaru) and just the idea of Sasuke going to Orochimaru's side and now with Tobi.

And also, the whole idea of Tobi's real idenity being the FIRST Uchiha. This is all so twistedly awesome, keeping us viewers interested. No one would ever suspect the stupid idiotic-looking Tobi who always annoy Deidara to be the FIRST Uchiha, rumored to have been dead. The whole Sharigan idea. How you must kill your own FRIEND to obtain the Mangekyou sharigan, how wicked. Danzou, being always bandaged, turns out to have been experimented on by Orochimaru and has his WHOLE ARM filled with SHARIGANS and his eye is a sharigan as well. He also has the blood of the FIRST HOKAGE!

I can go on and on, but just think about, it's AMAZING! The whole concept, the details, the effort mangakas put in. -sigh- It's unbelievable.

I can also go on and on about Code Geass and how GENIUS the whole idea was and how Lelouche is the smartest anime character EVERR!! I can also rant about how genius and the TOTAL COMPLETE idea of D. Gray-man is as well, etc etc.

Anyways, here is my list of Must-Watch Anime (Some aren't that Outstanding though...depends):

Fullmetal Alchemist*
Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood*
D. Gray-man*
Code Geass/R2*
Naruto*
Bleach*
Gintama*
Durarara!*
Skip Beat! (manga is better.)
Gundam Seed/Destiny
NANA*
Paradise Kiss*
Nabari No Ou
07-Ghost*
Natsume Yuujinchou*
Zoku Natsume Yuujinchou*
Zombie-Loan
Myself; Yourself*
xxxHOLiC*
xxxHOLiC: Kei*
Tsubasa Chronicle*
Tsubasa Tokyo Reservoir*
Phantom: Requiem of the Phantom*
Gakuen Alice*
Kateikyoushi Hitman Reborn*
Itazura na Kiss (better than drama.)
Kimi ni Todoke
Kamichama Karin
Shugo Chara!
Yumeiro Patissiere
Kuroshitsuji*
Vampire Knight/Guilty (it's good, but I think it's over-rated)
Special A*
Soul Eater (ending sucks.)*
Hakushaku to Yousei*
Ouran High School Host Club*
Fruit Basket*
Fullmoon O Sagashite*
Pandora Hearts*
D.N Angel*
Death Note
Trinity Blood
Clannad/After Story*
Air (I only saw the movie)*
Amatsuki*
Lovely Complex*
Zero no Tsukaima/1,2,3 season*
& all the Miyazaki creations<3*

This isn't all the animes I have watched, but perhaps most? I believe there are still a lot I haven't listed, but are AMAZINGLY good. So far, probably all the animes I have seen are actually really good. :D

p'ssed.

Just like what my 'title' said, I'm p'ssed. I just got home from the F.I.R concert. Not that anything is wrong with the singing or anything, but it's just...EVERYTHING!

Well, first of all, it was REALLY squishy, not as bad as I thought though, but this dude in front of me. GOSH, HE'S LIKE...FREAKIN' MY DAD'S AGE AND HE'S SQUISHING THERE WITH THE YOUNGSTER. HIS HEAD KEEPS BLOCKING MY VIDEO CAMERA AND HE KEEPS PUSHING BACK TO ME!

Aside from that, my back aches and neck aches and arm aches. I guess it's quite worth it since the concert WAS amazing, although they only sung 3 songs. The girl was so pretty and her voice was really nice!

At the end, they sold CDs for $15 dollars! You can NEVER get asian CDs for $15. There was also autograph, but I didn't bring money. -sigh-
The friends I went with all lost contact with me. It was so messed up. I felt so ditched, man. -sigh- whatever, it's over.

Well, at least I learned something. Turns out, my dad isn't leaving THIS Thursday, but NEXT Thursday so I don't have to WALK to the Ozone and also, I will be going to see Marianas Trench ONE HOUR earlier so I get a good spot and not get squished and aches everywhere.
I didn't get a free limited edition Coca Cola bottle though. I will probably try and get it next time.

Anyways, this concert has encouraged me to listen to more F.I.R. To be honest, I never really listen to their songs other than 2 or 3, but now, I really want to listen more. =D Yay!

Still really ticked off though. My sister was being a loser. Well, since I lost contact with my friends and I was literally alone. I called her and she said she will wait for me at the TV. I GOT to the TV and waited and waited and waited, but she never came. I tried calling her, but she didn't pick up since her line was busy. Then, I spotted from afar that she wasn't on the phone nor was she looking for me. She was TALKING TO HER FREAKIN' FRIENDS. I went over to her p'ssed. So much for WAITING for me OR LOOKING for me. Wow, what a nice and responsible sister?

Afterwards, she walked with me to wait for my dad though I told her not to. I doubt she actually CARED about my safety. She just doesn't want to feel guilty for leaving me or be responsible if I'm lost and seem irresponsible to my dad for leaving me. She also don't want her friends to think: "Wow, you just let your sister leave alone at 10:40pm."

Selfish.

Either way, I guess I'm glad I could listen to F.I.R. Good music, good music. I never really been to a concert so yeah. I did scream a lot, for support.

pockymeji.

a request

Sometimes some people just really ticks me off. When you're requesting someone to do you a favor, you're suppoes to ask in a very polite tone right? Well, I was just requested to do a favor for some friend and he was being so naggy about it.

Basically, later, I'm going to the Ozone to watch F.I.R's live concert and at the Ozone, they're giving out these free limited edition Coca Cola bottles. The guy was asking me to get one for him, but the problem is, I doubt I will even get one myself since I'm somewhat kind of claustrophobic and he's telling me to squish there. He kept saying, 'Just do me a favor, jsut do me a favor.' Why can't he be a LITTLE considerate about how I'm CLAUSTROPHOBIC. Like, why in the world would I help HIM get a Coke bottle when I might not even get one MYSELF. First of all, it's one person one bottle. Second of all, he kept nagging at me to get one.

Afterwards, I kind of exploded and told him he should get one himself. He starts telling me how he lives farther and needs to be driven there, but new flash: SO DO I! Then he starts rambling about how he lives farther and such and why can't I just do him a favor?

What a polite way of asking, huh? Well, after exploding out-ish, he's like: Whatever. Go spazz in the corner yourself. I wasted 15 minutes.

YEAH RIGHT! I'M THE ONE WHO WASTED 15 FREAKIN' MINUTES YOU STUPID JERK OF A B****!

--

Took me so long to find some friends to come with me to the Ozone.

Well, I'm also going to meet my Belove, Kero there! Yay<33
Also, next Sunday, MARIANAS TRENCH LIVE CONCERT @ THE OZONE! I WILL SO BE THERE!!

...even if I have to walk. (Since my dad is leaving on Friday)

when no one is around..

I really dislike how when I need to talk to someone, when I need to comfort and such, no one is around. I completely cannot contact a single person to talk with at all, even though I am in desperate need to talk. Perhaps, not that exaggerated, but I just feel 'blah' and need someone around to share stuff with.

-sigh- Where is everyone when I need them?

I hate the feeling of being really REALLY persistent. Makes me feel annoyed of myself and people tend to make me feel that when. Like when I'm talking to people on msn, they would stop replying all of a sudden, making me the one typing a lot...
Or when someone starts a conversation with me, then stops replying until 10 minutes later. Makes me really want to just stop talking for 10 minutes as in 'payback'. Or when people 'brb' and such for a long time and never come back and when they do come back, they have to leave. What's the point of replying or starting a conversation with me then?

I hate waiting for a reply. Especially when it's urgent.

Feels like I got no one to really talk to. Even when I talk to my sister, I can't tell her anything. Even when I talk to my closest friends, I still can tell them everything. There's always something I can't tell people and it's so hard to keep it in. -sigh-

--

On the bright side...HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR and HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!
The olympics still goes on and today, when I went to the mall, I saw so many tourists! How do I know they're tourists? Well, it was an asian mall and usually, the residents here do not go to asian malls and there were all these caucasian there, looking at stuff. It was so cool, seeing tourists coming HERE. Quite surreal to me.

Anyways, I kind of want to be like Dear John: Falling in love with just 2 weeks...har har! Like that's possible. I guess I should sit tight in my seat and wait till next year's transfer student. Perhaps there might be a European guy in there somewhere. -waits waits waits-

Aside from that, I have been stalking Westlife and I found out there music is quite good. Some are too 'corny' sounding for me-ish. I guess it's quite good. Or maybe it's not the music, it's the MVs that are in a way, very corny, to me.

Well, the person I'm completely in love with right now, after stalking, is JOSH GROBAN. His voice is so amazing. I'm have fallen in love just hearing his voice in 'We Are The World 25 For Haiti'



Because I can't embed 'We Are The World - Various Artist', here is the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUhyhpbLRXs

[Josh Groban starts 1:51 to 2:01 xD]

RIP Nodar Kumaritashvili

As you all know, yesterday was the Winter Olympic opening ceremony! But a few hours before that, Nodar Kumaritashvili passed away. He was a Georgian luger and passed away because of an accident while he was training at Whistler, British Columbia. It's very sad because this is his first Olympic and this happened just a few hours before the opening ceremony, during the torch relay.

RIP Nodar Kumaritashvili. He died doing something he loves.

songs reminding you of people.

Ah, I remember when I was so obsessed with the song: 5 Days - Patrick Nuo. I always listened to this song during the period I love this guy so whenever I listen to 5 Days, it reminds me of him. Well, not now as much since it has been years. This song really gives me this 'refreshing' feeling. So awesome. I wish I could live like the two people in the MV. It's so relaxing and wild and exciting! Anyways, Patrick Nuo isn't that bad looking, quite cute AND he's from Switzerland. ;D Haha.



It was love at first sight
on the second of july
Met her on the third floor
Four times in one night
It was a little bit of magic
And the time stood still
She took me to another side
she got the key to my will

Tell me how could such a good thing only last...

One, two three, four
Five days one in a lifetime
Five nights
Too good to be true
The universe is passin' by
But I can't forget our
One, two, three, four

Five days-sunshine-one-way-trip
Where she touched my soul when I touched her lips
She said "boy take me to whereever you go
destination anywhere"
But destiny said no.

Tell me how could such a good thing only last...

One, two three, four
Five days once in a lifetime
Five nights
Too good to be true
The universe is passin' by
But I can't forget our
One, two, three, four

Five days once in a lifetime
Five nights
Too good to be true
The universe is passin' by
But I can't forget our
One, two, three, four

Five days,... can't you hear me?
Five nights,... where you are?
Five days,... can't you fell me?
Five nights,... you're still my love

It was so great when we were together, baby
So great when we were together
It was so great when our days were endless, baby
So great when we were together

Tell me how could such a good thing only last...

One, two three, four
Five days once in a lifetime
Five nights
Too good to be true
The universe is passin' by
But I can't forget our
One, two, three, four

Five days once in a lifetime
Five nights
Too good to be true

surprised at what you already know.

Sometimes, I know something will happen, but I still get surprised and I still stay in shock that it happened. Take today for instance, I always knew something was going on, but when my friend told me about it, I was in shock and I was still surprised. I knew someday, it will happen and I know it is happening, but when I finally hear it coming from her mouth, when I hear her confirming it, I was shocked.

It still amazes me now.

I feel depressed about learning something I already learned. Although I knew it was coming and prepared myself for it, after hearing it coming from Yammy, it still made me feel depressed. Perhaps this is for the better. =P Now I can forget and move on.
Easier said than done. I hate how that phrase is so correct!

--

Aside from that, I feel that I'm getting closer to people, but also drifting from others.

I spent $42 on four shirts. I feel like I wasted so much money and now it hurts just knowing I spent so much. Plus, I want to watch a movie! I really wish to watch Dear John and The Lightning Theif (which comes out tommorow).

--

Anyways, I feel so relieved telling someone close to X about X. At least I know the truth and no more false hope and such. -sigh- I really don't like how I ramble on and on about this situation though. Are these symptoms of me not being able to let go? If that's the case, is there any suggestions out there. Classical music or anime perhaps might help. -sigh-

I ramble so much. Oh, and I also hate how people don't reply. I hate like how sometimes, peopel talk to you, but they don't reply when you do. That fustrates me way too much. >=(

I also hate how people don't pick up their cell! (e.g PYL and my sister)

I'm off to bed. (I realized I'm 85 pounds! I just lost weight. D: Took me so much effort to stay at 89 and sometimes 88 or 90. -sighs-)
Good night.


time for me to...

...let go.

[I'm too young anyways.]

failure...i believe.

Well, first of all, I have totally completely flunked my IB testing. Haha. I have 'eeny meeny miney mo-ed' most of the questions because I absolutely didn't get what to do. I guess I can only hope I do well for the interview on Thursday.

My second failure was last night, I was super tired after the Ib testing and I ended up taking a nap. I asked my dad to wake me up at 11pm so I can do my Japanese project, but it turns out, I wouldn't wake up. In the end, I overslept and skipped my first 2 block of school. I came for the last 5 minutes for 3rd block. Ended up rushing my Japanese homework during school time (at home). It was hilarious though, quite thrilling.

I realized, I always tend to like the thrilling feeling. In Japanese class, we all cheat. That's just how it works for us. Even if we know it, we just cheat for the sake of it. Well, for me that's why. I don't know, I find the feeling of being caught is funny and thrilling. Just gives me something to do and tend to ease the tense feeling I usually get from taking a test. It also lets people have something to talk and laugh about afterwards. It's just fun, but it's only Japanese tests.

I just read a very cute one-shot manga: BITOU NA KOI. If you have time, check it out.

Ah, today was the day our school handed out the roses people ordered and bought. A classmate of mine got a rose for me and some other people. It was very sweet. :D

Thank you.

Anyways, there were some boyfriends who bought their girlfriends a bouquet of roses which I find very very adorable. A student in my grade, her boyfriend bought her a bouquet of BLUE roses and it was REALLY pretty. Hm, perhaps that's my new thing: blue roses? Haha.

As for me, I have decided to give up and move on. :D
...if you know what I mean.

pockymeji.

3 hours before IB testing.

I just came home from school and now I have 3 hours till the IB testing. I already had my afterschool snack/lunch/meal thing and now I am using a biore pore pack thingy, scratch that...I just ripped it off 5 minutes too early and now it's ineffective. Sigh. I've been getting a lot of blackheads lately. =(

Anyways, 3 hours till the IB testing and I realized I forgot EVERYTHING I learned last year! Especially science. For English, I could probably wing it or something, you have to write an essay so you definitely can't study for it. For math, I guess last year was pretty easy. Anyways, I think I'm definitely doomed since tommorow, I have a Japanese project which I haven't started at all yet!

Since I'm planning to take full IB diploma, I have to take 3 tests: English, Science and Math. Each test last from 30-45 minutes so I can say, each test is roughly about an hour. 3 times 1 hr is 3 hours! I will be going to school at 6:30pm and spend 3 hours at school while my Japanese project sits on the floor of my room.

As I type up this blog, I am wasting another minute of my 3 hours left to spare or study/rush my project. Perhaps I should get started on studying last year's science stuff or I should do my Japanese. I wonder what I should do...
-For Japanese, I seriously have NO idea on what to do. I have no inspiration and I'm definitely wanting to watch Gintama. It is also my nap time. Sigh.

Good luck to me!
Perhaps I will blog about how my IB testing was at 9pm or so.

Pockymeji.

stumped.

I finally decided to do my science homework and realized I'm stumped. I have no idea what to write. The homework assignment is to write a response to support my decision on which poster (in the textbook) is effective and which poster is ineffective. I'm definitely not in the mood to do any of this, nor will I ever be.

Tommorow I have to go to school earlier to do library monitor so I SHOULD be sleeping earlier. My dad is kind of upset with me since I was watching anime last night...2am in the morning. Haha. Lack of sleep is causing me to be more demented. Sigh.

Anyways, I kind of wished I went to see the Olympic torch arrive and be lit up. I guess watching it for myself will probably be much more heart moving than just hearing about it. Sadly, I was napping when the torch arrived, what a waste. I never planned to go since I'm not exactly good with crowds.

1. My short height allows me to be pushed easily
2. I'm somewhat claustrophobic.

Anyways, at least I'm alive?
Perhaps I will go and watch the Olympic torch another time. Haha, I'll find a way. Anyways, I shall go and lurk around. Maybe ask some blue birds what they did for science?

pockymeji.

after a nap.

I took a nap today! I have skipped my naps for 2 days and it feels AWFUL. Well, this time, it was not 4 hours or 6 hours...but instead 3 hours. Haha.

I kind of woke up to the sound of fireworks since today, the olympic torch came here. Sadly, by the time the fireworks woke me up, it was over.

Anyways, I SHOULD be doing my science homework, but instead, I was on deviantart art stalking once again! Many people are so amazing. Sigh - I'm going on deviantart to get my ego stroked. Haha.

My friend is an amazing artist, although she's being SO modest and not admitting it. If you want, check her out on deviantart. Her user is Kataruki.


.s e r e n i t y.



:R E S E T:

an entry before night enters.

Before I go to bed, well, before I watch one more episode of Gintama then go to bed, I want to write one last entry for today.

I have been talking to a friend of mine for the past...hours? This friend of mine told me I'm a good listener. I'm actually, in a way, shocked. Am I a good listener? I wonder.

Well, not many people come to me to talk since I look like an unreliable person, but I guess it just feels good to know that someone can rely on me.
Anyways, why am I up so late at 1:30am in the morning? Well, I was drawing in my new sketchbook! Yay~

Anyways, I shall depart from this blog that no one reads.

Night.

a joyous moment.

I ended up choosing anime over nap, haha. Well, I'm watching Gintama episode 75 and I just have to share it. Gintoki is so cool in the beginning episodes, I just realized because now, he's acting like an old man (oo-san): doing nothing.
~Well, all he does is read Shounen Jump, drink strawberry milk, eat sweet things, gamble, etc.. He's awesome.

Anyways, what got me laughing was:

-Amanto (aliens) complaining how Gintoki is swinging his sword around which is against the laugh-

Gin: Yeah, blah blah blah blah shut the f*** up!
What is this? Mating season?

harhar. You probably won't find it as funny if you didn't watch it.

Here's a summary: This anime basically takes place back in the ol' days of Japan where Samurais are the fighters. Amantos, aliens, invaded Edo and now they're REALLY modernized (like us). There are still people who are against the fact that humans are living under Amantos and continues to fight like the way of the samurai.

This may sound serious, but trust me...Gintama is completely ridiculously awesome. xD So random and epic nearly every episode. Some did get me crying though =D

Oh and the title of this episode is:

Episode 75: Complain About Your Job Outside Of Your House, Not Inside! Since That's The Case, I'll Complain A Little, Okay? "Land of the Samurai," It's Been A Long Time Since Our Country Was Called That...It's Because One And A Half Years Since That Anime That Began That Way Started. A LOT of Stuff Has Happened Since Then, Huh? And Well, We Thought It Was About Time To Look Back And Reflect On It, But NO, You Guys Said, "God, A Recap Episode? Are You Guys Getting Lazy?" Hey, It's Hard To Make An Anime, So Stop Complaining.

Awesome anime title, isn't it?
Just to let you whoever is reading this blog entry know, '"Land of the Samurai," It's been a long time since our country was called that...,' this part is the beginning introduction in every episode of Gintama for the first 20 ish episodes supposedly, it's funny. -laughs-

Anyways, I shall continue watching...

'Blah blah blah blah, shut the f*** up!' xD

being happy is very hard

Trying to stay happy the whole time during school is very tiring ad energy-consuming. I get hyped up about many things and when I start feeling tired...well, when I show that I'm tired, it looks more like I'm depressed or not feeling well.

I wonder what kind of image/impression do I give people?

Anyways, aside from my thoughts. I got over my Math and Science test! Yay!

I didn't study AT ALL for them so I pretty much winged it. Somewhat, I am proud...though I shouldn't be.

But hey, for a person who watches anime 24/7 intensively and goes hardcore about anime, I'm quite okay, arent I?
I do have mental prepareness for failing though.

It's a habit, a good habit, to think I will do bad. If I think that way, I don't have too high of an expectation so if I do bad, I will be like ==''' not as depressed, but if I do good, I will be extra happy + =D.
So stupid. haha.

Anyways, I am once again: bored. I already lurked around Neopets for a bit and yeah, nothing much happened. I 'cooked' myself a snack to eat! Yay! Well, heated it. Anyways, I'm quite proud that I didn't destroy my home kitchen since I suck horribly at cooking.

Perhaps I should take my 4 hour nap? Or I could continue watching Gintama episode 74.

I'll decide later...ish.

pockymeji.

nailclipping is a very hard task, but helps math.

I was just clipping my nails earlier and I realized: nail clipping is actually quite challenging. My neck ended up aching for a bit because I had to look down, carefully, at where I was clipping my nails. My eyes hurt because I had to watch what I was doing and my hands definitely ached from holding onto the nail clipper.

I personally have a nasty, gross habit of biting my nails, which is why I don't often clip my nails. I know, it's gross, but I just tend to bite my nails out of a habit which I had for years. I naturally bite my nails when I'm watching anime or a movie. Perhaps it is out of boredom or it's something I just do when something 'exciting' happens and the anticipation or suspense is killing me, which causes me to bite my nails. Who knows.

Afterwards, after clipping my nails, I started understand my math homework easily. I was doing Arithmetic series, sequences and Geometric stuff. Yeah, math...yuck. (Sorry to does who love math...not that any math lovers will be reading this. In fact, no one is :D)

Anyways, before I end this blog and head off to bed because I clipped my nails and it helped me finish my math homework, I want to say: In near future, I will not get a job that involves nail clipping. =P

Night.

what i want.

I really don't know what I want. I hate how I'm being so undeceisive about everything. Like how when I had to choose my IB courses, I don't know what to take: Geo or History? Bio HL or Chem HL? I don't know what I wanted to do in the future: Lawyer or Surgeon. Because of my unknown choices, I decided to take 'everything'. Now I need to take Physics during the summer so I can go into the science department. Basically, I'm taking all 3 sciences.

I feel so troubled.

What do I want? What if, in the end of everything, I don't want to be a lawyer OR surgeon. What if I fail everything? Both Law and Science. Sigh.

--

Aside from education, I'm actually really scared. Valentine's day is coming and last last PE class, I overheard X talking. He was talking to Yammy and his friend about how he is planning to confess to the person he likes and Yammy suggested he should buy a rose. Just hearing the word 'confess' made me ran faster, away from them. Afterwards he asked me what class I had. That gave me hope that it might be me, but what if it isn't? He's giving me false hope and that's the worst thing ever. I wish I never heard anything.

To add up to my problems, I don't know what I want. Do I really want him to confess to me? How should I respond? I don't even know if I want a boyfriend, my first boyfriend, nor do I know if I like him enough to accept him. I barely know anything about him. I shouldn't even think about these things since I don't know whether it is me or not. I'm giving myself false hope.

I've been in confusion and somewhat depression these days. I have some friends telling me I should give up on because: he doesn't match me, I could do better and things like that. Am I really better? He probably won't even like me if he realizes I'm such an on/off moody person.

Here's a song that sounds so soothing to me at the moment. (From Dear John.):

Life house
By: Amanda Seyfried

a nice day.

Today, I actually had such a nice day.

I woke up early, 10 am in the morning, on a Saturday without an alarm clock! It was such a pretty baby blue color in my room. I just had such a soothing and refreshing feeling that made me feel so relaxed and peaceful.

I guess I should've done my tutor homework, but instead, I ended up reading one of my classmate's blog. I just finished it a few minutes ago and inspired I am.

To be honest, I have always admire her (not in a lovey dovey way), but I always knew she was smart and pretty. After reading her blog, I found out she is actually very creative. I don't know how to describe, but I just never knew she had that in her. She always seem like the logical type and very studious, confident and all that. Just reading about her complains about our Planning homework made me realize: I really shouldn't judge people by their looks.

Anyways, I found her blog really interesting and that mine is full of complains and 'non-sensable' things (not making sense). I also found some really nice pictures on her blog. She's so inspirational. -admires-

My blog is quite dull..and...repetitive!

Anyways, I also tried listening to classical music and it added more peace to my relaxing day. There really needs to be more days like these. Sigh.

I have also been trying to take more pictures lately. Trying to capture the beautiful things I see, but I guess it's not really working out. With my horrible technique, I just can't seem to capture what I see through the camera's lens.

My vocabulary is also very shallow. I don't know...

The classmate (whose blog I read), she's the one who got my addicted to crosswords which is why I get the newspaper every morning at school. The crossword doesn't help my vocab that much though, sadly. And now, I am into the Sudoku more. Haha.

Anyways, perhaps I should change my blog style now? Less complains. Not that anyone will ever read this blog.

What a nice day :)