bumps.

Throughout your life, you are bound to face problems that will teach you new things, give you knew knowledge and experience which makes you a better person.

At the moment, I am going facing two new problems.

I'm getting really tired now, thinking so much, avoiding, facing...just everything. It's all taking too much energy out of me, and with school and all that, I'm even more tired. I just wish I could throw it all away in the trash bin or something. At the moment, I'm both my problems. Do I really have such a horrible temper? Do I always seem like I'm mad or something?

I'm quite disappointed and sad how my friends just don't seem to understand me. Maybe I'm expecting too much from people, but it just makes me so disappointed when I want someone to understand me, but they don't. It feels like no one knows me at all. It's been years since I've been like this, but still, no one understands and it makes me feel like I'm changing the way I'm acting...or people are just IGNORING me.

Again, the whole ignoring situation. How hard is it, really, to understand the fact that I hate repeating what I say, I hate being ignored, and when I repeat the same thing 3 times...I will definitely be mad and I won't be saying it again.
Honestly, I doubt anyone wants to be ignored, so how hard is it to just spare 3 seconds to listen to what I have to say? I hate waiting. I hate waiting to TALK to someone, especially when there's no valid excuse. It's annoying how sometimes, I say something..and it takes someone 2000 years to finally respond to me, especially when I'm asking about homework.

"Congratz! You have answered me half an hour later...when I already asked 3 different people!"

-sigh- I'm really asking for too much, aren't I?

Another problem I'm avoiding is just how I feel in general. Feeling so mixed..and all this is really making me so tired. I don't want to go to school tommorow. Haha. Facing all these things and HOMEWORK..grr.

Well, basically, my dilemma is...I know the result to something...I know what will happen, but I'm still so tempted to do it. It's just something that has happened to me quite a couple of time. Like, even though I know the ending will be awful and I will be upset, disappointed, angry or just things will end up in a disgusting situation, but still...I would just stick my head in and continue on. Perhaps it's for self-satisfication, but I really have to stop. I really need someone to just yell at me and tell me 'NO'!

Please, just slap me or something...hard. I hate how I need to just snap awake. Just like how I really needed to know X is bad, he's shallow, mean and just...really not the person I thought he was. When I saw that, I felt like I can really just let go...
Hearing that he likes someone else helped as well..though it still hurts...
of course.

I'm so clingy. It's so
annoying and
disgusting.
Ugh.