I'm about to give up soon, on finishing up my homework. Probably will end up waking up earlier to work on it, if I do give up tonight...or this morning. Anyhow, I am talking to some good ol' friends. xD
I also realized how fake some people can be. I probably mentioned something like this before, but then yeah. I feel like the need to complain. Sometimes, people just make up some excuses or say something that obviously implies another hidden message, which is obviously not hidden and practically thrown right at your face...so what's the whole point of this stupid excuse of a line? Just so fake.
If you something to say, then say it (to my face). Don't pretend (say one thing and think another).
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Friday, May 14, 2010
today.
An explaination for my previous blog entry title: I sneezed when I typed that.
---
Ah, one thing...I really dislike today's PE sub. Usually, I would prefer practically anyone over Glier...other than Lochbaum, but I really didn't like today's sub. He totally hated me...I know that for sure.
Since we go to the Brighouse park to play kickball, Glier always tells us to go about 30ish because it takes us a while to walk there and we had to change. Plus...they unlock the door slow and girls change slower. He though I was just trying to get out of PE early and then in the end, while we were waiting for the bell to ring, he was like: see, we came back early and now we're just standing here to wait.
Like the person I am, I kind of got defensive. I was totally angry. I told him (and the others around agreed), that we ALWAYS waited. It was JUST right! I was right! I just changed faster, but some other girls are still changing, I swear. Plus, if we are so-called 'early', then why are the OTHER classes waiting with us as well? Grrrr...he completely ticked me off and I do not like him! Grrr!
Aside from that (which somewhat ruined my morning), I realized I attract bees. o-o''
During the kickball game when my team had to be in the fields, a bee was flying REALLY near me and I had to turn around and move away a lot to lose it. A few minutes ago, another bee was buzzing by my window for no particular reason. The same thing happened a few days ago as well. I hate no honey or anything...no sweets near my window. Thank God for the net protecting thingy!
---
Ah, one thing...I really dislike today's PE sub. Usually, I would prefer practically anyone over Glier...other than Lochbaum, but I really didn't like today's sub. He totally hated me...I know that for sure.
Since we go to the Brighouse park to play kickball, Glier always tells us to go about 30ish because it takes us a while to walk there and we had to change. Plus...they unlock the door slow and girls change slower. He though I was just trying to get out of PE early and then in the end, while we were waiting for the bell to ring, he was like: see, we came back early and now we're just standing here to wait.
Like the person I am, I kind of got defensive. I was totally angry. I told him (and the others around agreed), that we ALWAYS waited. It was JUST right! I was right! I just changed faster, but some other girls are still changing, I swear. Plus, if we are so-called 'early', then why are the OTHER classes waiting with us as well? Grrrr...he completely ticked me off and I do not like him! Grrr!
Aside from that (which somewhat ruined my morning), I realized I attract bees. o-o''
During the kickball game when my team had to be in the fields, a bee was flying REALLY near me and I had to turn around and move away a lot to lose it. A few minutes ago, another bee was buzzing by my window for no particular reason. The same thing happened a few days ago as well. I hate no honey or anything...no sweets near my window. Thank God for the net protecting thingy!
achoo!
Been feeling so 'out of it' this whole week. Feeling depressed for no reason at all and for some reason, today was the worst. I feel worst today than I did when I got back my horrible science test. =\
I really need something to do. Anime and manga just isn't 'fascinating' to me anymore. The news ones are getting very old and boring. No new amazing plot lines that are worth getting excited over. I even finished chasing all the mainstream MANGAS - which are like...500+ chapters. So bored.
I have a new obsession though. Not telling what.
The calmness I have been experiencing is quite nice. Like right now, typing up a blog entry, drinking tea and listening to the birds chirp outside. During the summer is when I love my room the most. It's blue and it's cool! I was just in my sister's room, helping her look at prom dresses, until I couldn't stand the heat anymore. =='''
I'm almost finished reading a book...in one day. I hope I will finish today to make it 1 =D I feel like my reading mode might be back. I really need to finish Wayfarer Redemption. It's been nearly a year and the book still sits there. I've only read the prologue and 2 chapters. I had to reread them because I got distracted by other books and my memory of what happened is fuzzy. A million pieces is on hold again when I was reading the online story below this entry. I really have to stop reading multiple books at once...and increasing my list.
i will wait:
(c) m0thyyku
I really need something to do. Anime and manga just isn't 'fascinating' to me anymore. The news ones are getting very old and boring. No new amazing plot lines that are worth getting excited over. I even finished chasing all the mainstream MANGAS - which are like...500+ chapters. So bored.
I have a new obsession though. Not telling what.
The calmness I have been experiencing is quite nice. Like right now, typing up a blog entry, drinking tea and listening to the birds chirp outside. During the summer is when I love my room the most. It's blue and it's cool! I was just in my sister's room, helping her look at prom dresses, until I couldn't stand the heat anymore. =='''
I'm almost finished reading a book...in one day. I hope I will finish today to make it 1 =D I feel like my reading mode might be back. I really need to finish Wayfarer Redemption. It's been nearly a year and the book still sits there. I've only read the prologue and 2 chapters. I had to reread them because I got distracted by other books and my memory of what happened is fuzzy. A million pieces is on hold again when I was reading the online story below this entry. I really have to stop reading multiple books at once...and increasing my list.
i will wait:
(c) m0thyyku
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
be prepared for an ultra long blog entry..
I spent most of yesterday reading the newly found story! Blood Moon. It's an online story. Basically, about the struggle between lycans and vrykolakas. It all started because of two man battling for power. Now, the two race are trying to completely wipe out the other race in other to stop this 'curse'. It's not your typical vampire story. xD So don't groan about it! Had something to say...but forget. Meh =='''
--
Prelude
2007
Lilith Angela sat in her plush couch and dispassionately took another sip of her red wine. Staring into the flames of her fireplace, memories Lilith tried to bury began to reemerge. Her loneliness encouraged the memories to surface. That was the reason Lilith tried to keep herself busy all the time. In nearly 600 years one would have thought that Lilith had forgotten about her past life, her only life really, considering she was dead. If not forget about it, at least gotten over it. But she couldn't let go and couldn't forget about that life. It seemed like centuries since then. It was centuries since then, Lilith corrected bitterly. Trying to push out the face of a strikingly handsome man from her mind, Lilith took a gulp of her wine. But what hit the home run was that beautiful laugh of a child. He was so small and precious to Lilith. She missed the way he would cling to her legs and laugh 'Ma! Ma!'
"D*mn it all to H*ll!" Lilith sneered to the empty room.
No alcohol could numb her senses. It was both a blessing and a curse that alcohol had no effect on her. At that very moment Lilith considered it a curse. She wanted to blur that achingly familiar face into an indistinct shape, something unrecognizable. But the harder she tried to forget, the stronger her feelings became. Maybe one day she'd be able to forget about him. But what she wanted to forget the most was the pain of losing her baby. Their baby. Yeah, and maybe one day I'll be human again, Lilith thought sarcastically.
1407 A.D.
Lilith Caldwell just turned fifteen. It was the most joyous day of her life! Today, Lilith assured herself as she went about her chores. Today, she would tell the village leader's son, Roderick McElroy, that she loved him now that she was a grown woman. Of course Roderick probably wouldn't be interested in her declaration of love, considering she was younger than him, but she couldn't keep it a secret any longer. She just had to tell him and by all that was Holy, it would be that very day!
She had first fallen in love with Roderick when he saved her from drowning at the age of nine. He dived into the water without any hesitation to rescue her and got sick for doing so. Lilith visited him every day for the next fortnight while he made his recovery. He had been so kind in reassuring her it wasn't her fault and promising to teach her to swim. As soon as he got better, Roderick had taken her to the river and taught her to swim. Sometimes they'd sit on the bank and he would teach her to read. Lilith didn't know about anyone other than the village leader's sons that could read or write. It was around the age of thirteen Lilith began to notice her feelings towards him. Roderick had just turned seventeen and was spending less and less time with her. Instead he would keep company with other boys from the village or spend his time charming village girls closer to his age.
But Lilith had faith. She would go to the river everyday when the sun was high in the sky. Roderick's visits started to come less frequently until one day he just stopped visiting all together. It had been three weeks of waiting fruitlessly before Lilith finally got the idea that he wasn't going to met her at the river anymore. Lilith straightened her spine and dusted off imaginary dirt from her best dress. Although the dress was Lilith's best, she knew it wasn't better by a lot. She spotted Roderick ducking behind a cart and quickly made her way towards him with a huge smile on her pretty face.
Roderick saw Lilith before she saw him. Thinking he could escape her hawk-like vision, he foolishly hid behind a cart. He hit his forehead with the palm of his hand, congratulating his intelligence. A pair of dainty feet came into Roderick's downcast sight. He groaned in irritation as he looked up into the most captivatingly green eyes it was his displeasure to come across. Letting out the breath he was holding, in unsuccessful hopes of being quiet and not attracting her attention, Roderick stood.
"Milord," Lilith curtsied.
Roderick eyed the ridiculously huge smile on Lilith's face with wry observation. "Lilith, I 'ave known yee since yee were a 'lil lass, yee needn't call me milord," Roderick said with the Irish burr Lilith loved the moment he asked her if she was alright after dragging her out of the river.
"Roderick," she whispered shyly.
Groaning again, Roderick rubbed a hand over his face and looked around skittishly. He was vainly wishing one of his friends was nearby so he could politely get away from Lilith. He knew this day would come. Although he did not like to admit he very much liked Lilith, there could never be anything from their mutual interest. Roderick knew his father needed him to marry well and be a good leader for their clan as the eldest son. Marrying well did not include marrying the blacksmith's daughter. Also, Lilith was not someone he could dally with then forget when the time came for him to marry the daughter of a neighboring clan.
"Can I talk to yee please? It willna take long. I promise."
Opening his mouth to say he had to be somewhere at the moment, Roderick hesitated when he recognized the pleading look in her eyes. With another sigh Roderick nodded and began walking towards the river. The short walk was silent as Lilith followed three-steps behind him. The only sound heard was the crunching of dry leaves and small twigs breaking underfoot. They reached the river and Roderick turned around suddenly, wanting the moment to be over with. Lilith had been studying the dying autumn leaves and did not notice Roderick's quick move until she had bumped into him. An embarrassed flush tinged her cheeks as she pulled out of Roderick's steadying hands.
"Do yee remember when yee saved me from drowning?" Lilith started off as she looked up into his face.
"I canna forget. I almost died when I got sick."
Lilith looked away guiltily and Roderick felt like kicking himself for his rudeness. Not attempting to continue, Lilith bit on her lower lip and began twisting the rough material of her dress between two tight fists. This was not how it was suppose to go at all, Lilith thought sadly. Tears sprang to her eyes as she thought about her admission of love going horribly wrong. Roderick held his ground even when he saw her bite down on her trembling lip. He wanted to soothe her, but he knew doing so would give Lilith the wrong impression. So as an alternative to comforting her, Roderick began tapping his foot, pretending to grow impatient.
"If yee got none to say lassie, I canna be standing out here all day. I have things to do, yee ken?"
Nodding mutely Lilith took a deep shuddering breath to calm her turbulent feelings and started again. She opened and closed her mouth several times, unable to say anything. Roderick bit back a smile. The adorable opening and closing of her mouth reminded him of a fish. He could tell she was becoming frustrated and almost pitied her.
"I know I'm still young and not as pretty as Maggie or Caledonia. Yee prolly think me foolish, but I had to tell you," Lilith took a deep breath, "I love yee."
Breathing nervously, Lilith waited in agony for his reply. The silence grew deafening and Lilith dared to glance up to see Roderick's expression. He looked unsurprised by her declaration, bored even. Lilith looked searchingly into his dark brown eyes, hoping to see a flicker of some kind of emotion. There was none. His eyes had turned hard and cold. The look was that of a predator. Lilith shivered at the thought. Stepping back from Lilith, Roderick held Lilith's gaze.
~
He couldn't accept her feelings and he couldn't return her feelings. He was going to marry the girl his father wanted him to; a girl who would know what he really was and be a dutiful wife to him as his mother was to his father. His family curse. How could he be with Lilith and not tell her his horrible secret? He did not want Lilith to learn about whom or really, what he was. He didn't want to look into her eyes and see the disgust, or worse, fear. Roderick cared too much for Lilith to marry her. Hardening his resolve, Roderick looked at Lilith with a pseudo smirk.
"I doona know wot to say to that. Did yee think I were gonna say I loved yee too? Lassie, yer father's the blacksmith. Yee should set yee attention on some common village boy. I'm the next leader of this clan. Wot makes yee think I'd be interested in yee, wee lass?"
Tears fell silently down Lilith's cheeks as she listened to Roderick's words. Her admission of love did go horribly wrong. She some what expected being the blacksmith's daughter made her unworthy of Roderick. But she did not know how painful the truth was until Roderick told her in that patronizing way of his. Roderick answered her with a slightly condescending voice, that Lilith had suspect he was more than just irritated with her declaration. She guessed he was seething that a common girl such as she would even have the nerve to think her feelings might be returned.
Roderick's blasé expression faltered when he saw her crying silently. But Roderick held his ground, even when Lilith wiped the tears from her eyes with a delicate sniffle, even when she bowed and apologized for her insolence, even when she turned to head back home and out of his life forever.
(c) aaddicted
--
Prelude
2007
Lilith Angela sat in her plush couch and dispassionately took another sip of her red wine. Staring into the flames of her fireplace, memories Lilith tried to bury began to reemerge. Her loneliness encouraged the memories to surface. That was the reason Lilith tried to keep herself busy all the time. In nearly 600 years one would have thought that Lilith had forgotten about her past life, her only life really, considering she was dead. If not forget about it, at least gotten over it. But she couldn't let go and couldn't forget about that life. It seemed like centuries since then. It was centuries since then, Lilith corrected bitterly. Trying to push out the face of a strikingly handsome man from her mind, Lilith took a gulp of her wine. But what hit the home run was that beautiful laugh of a child. He was so small and precious to Lilith. She missed the way he would cling to her legs and laugh 'Ma! Ma!'
"D*mn it all to H*ll!" Lilith sneered to the empty room.
No alcohol could numb her senses. It was both a blessing and a curse that alcohol had no effect on her. At that very moment Lilith considered it a curse. She wanted to blur that achingly familiar face into an indistinct shape, something unrecognizable. But the harder she tried to forget, the stronger her feelings became. Maybe one day she'd be able to forget about him. But what she wanted to forget the most was the pain of losing her baby. Their baby. Yeah, and maybe one day I'll be human again, Lilith thought sarcastically.
1407 A.D.
Lilith Caldwell just turned fifteen. It was the most joyous day of her life! Today, Lilith assured herself as she went about her chores. Today, she would tell the village leader's son, Roderick McElroy, that she loved him now that she was a grown woman. Of course Roderick probably wouldn't be interested in her declaration of love, considering she was younger than him, but she couldn't keep it a secret any longer. She just had to tell him and by all that was Holy, it would be that very day!
She had first fallen in love with Roderick when he saved her from drowning at the age of nine. He dived into the water without any hesitation to rescue her and got sick for doing so. Lilith visited him every day for the next fortnight while he made his recovery. He had been so kind in reassuring her it wasn't her fault and promising to teach her to swim. As soon as he got better, Roderick had taken her to the river and taught her to swim. Sometimes they'd sit on the bank and he would teach her to read. Lilith didn't know about anyone other than the village leader's sons that could read or write. It was around the age of thirteen Lilith began to notice her feelings towards him. Roderick had just turned seventeen and was spending less and less time with her. Instead he would keep company with other boys from the village or spend his time charming village girls closer to his age.
But Lilith had faith. She would go to the river everyday when the sun was high in the sky. Roderick's visits started to come less frequently until one day he just stopped visiting all together. It had been three weeks of waiting fruitlessly before Lilith finally got the idea that he wasn't going to met her at the river anymore. Lilith straightened her spine and dusted off imaginary dirt from her best dress. Although the dress was Lilith's best, she knew it wasn't better by a lot. She spotted Roderick ducking behind a cart and quickly made her way towards him with a huge smile on her pretty face.
Roderick saw Lilith before she saw him. Thinking he could escape her hawk-like vision, he foolishly hid behind a cart. He hit his forehead with the palm of his hand, congratulating his intelligence. A pair of dainty feet came into Roderick's downcast sight. He groaned in irritation as he looked up into the most captivatingly green eyes it was his displeasure to come across. Letting out the breath he was holding, in unsuccessful hopes of being quiet and not attracting her attention, Roderick stood.
"Milord," Lilith curtsied.
Roderick eyed the ridiculously huge smile on Lilith's face with wry observation. "Lilith, I 'ave known yee since yee were a 'lil lass, yee needn't call me milord," Roderick said with the Irish burr Lilith loved the moment he asked her if she was alright after dragging her out of the river.
"Roderick," she whispered shyly.
Groaning again, Roderick rubbed a hand over his face and looked around skittishly. He was vainly wishing one of his friends was nearby so he could politely get away from Lilith. He knew this day would come. Although he did not like to admit he very much liked Lilith, there could never be anything from their mutual interest. Roderick knew his father needed him to marry well and be a good leader for their clan as the eldest son. Marrying well did not include marrying the blacksmith's daughter. Also, Lilith was not someone he could dally with then forget when the time came for him to marry the daughter of a neighboring clan.
"Can I talk to yee please? It willna take long. I promise."
Opening his mouth to say he had to be somewhere at the moment, Roderick hesitated when he recognized the pleading look in her eyes. With another sigh Roderick nodded and began walking towards the river. The short walk was silent as Lilith followed three-steps behind him. The only sound heard was the crunching of dry leaves and small twigs breaking underfoot. They reached the river and Roderick turned around suddenly, wanting the moment to be over with. Lilith had been studying the dying autumn leaves and did not notice Roderick's quick move until she had bumped into him. An embarrassed flush tinged her cheeks as she pulled out of Roderick's steadying hands.
"Do yee remember when yee saved me from drowning?" Lilith started off as she looked up into his face.
"I canna forget. I almost died when I got sick."
Lilith looked away guiltily and Roderick felt like kicking himself for his rudeness. Not attempting to continue, Lilith bit on her lower lip and began twisting the rough material of her dress between two tight fists. This was not how it was suppose to go at all, Lilith thought sadly. Tears sprang to her eyes as she thought about her admission of love going horribly wrong. Roderick held his ground even when he saw her bite down on her trembling lip. He wanted to soothe her, but he knew doing so would give Lilith the wrong impression. So as an alternative to comforting her, Roderick began tapping his foot, pretending to grow impatient.
"If yee got none to say lassie, I canna be standing out here all day. I have things to do, yee ken?"
Nodding mutely Lilith took a deep shuddering breath to calm her turbulent feelings and started again. She opened and closed her mouth several times, unable to say anything. Roderick bit back a smile. The adorable opening and closing of her mouth reminded him of a fish. He could tell she was becoming frustrated and almost pitied her.
"I know I'm still young and not as pretty as Maggie or Caledonia. Yee prolly think me foolish, but I had to tell you," Lilith took a deep breath, "I love yee."
Breathing nervously, Lilith waited in agony for his reply. The silence grew deafening and Lilith dared to glance up to see Roderick's expression. He looked unsurprised by her declaration, bored even. Lilith looked searchingly into his dark brown eyes, hoping to see a flicker of some kind of emotion. There was none. His eyes had turned hard and cold. The look was that of a predator. Lilith shivered at the thought. Stepping back from Lilith, Roderick held Lilith's gaze.
~
He couldn't accept her feelings and he couldn't return her feelings. He was going to marry the girl his father wanted him to; a girl who would know what he really was and be a dutiful wife to him as his mother was to his father. His family curse. How could he be with Lilith and not tell her his horrible secret? He did not want Lilith to learn about whom or really, what he was. He didn't want to look into her eyes and see the disgust, or worse, fear. Roderick cared too much for Lilith to marry her. Hardening his resolve, Roderick looked at Lilith with a pseudo smirk.
"I doona know wot to say to that. Did yee think I were gonna say I loved yee too? Lassie, yer father's the blacksmith. Yee should set yee attention on some common village boy. I'm the next leader of this clan. Wot makes yee think I'd be interested in yee, wee lass?"
Tears fell silently down Lilith's cheeks as she listened to Roderick's words. Her admission of love did go horribly wrong. She some what expected being the blacksmith's daughter made her unworthy of Roderick. But she did not know how painful the truth was until Roderick told her in that patronizing way of his. Roderick answered her with a slightly condescending voice, that Lilith had suspect he was more than just irritated with her declaration. She guessed he was seething that a common girl such as she would even have the nerve to think her feelings might be returned.
Roderick's blasé expression faltered when he saw her crying silently. But Roderick held his ground, even when Lilith wiped the tears from her eyes with a delicate sniffle, even when she bowed and apologized for her insolence, even when she turned to head back home and out of his life forever.
(c) aaddicted
in love in love in love--
I'm totally in love.
First of all... no, the guy is not an anime character. He is real.
I had to get that clear. Haha...
He's Eurasian. xP An amazing photographer and very very awesome at photoshopping.
(c) Lord-Kevinz @ deviant
--
Here's an amazing photo for a Wednesday. I took the advice from the photographer and listened to the song...and it felt very nice and perfect. Such a nice match.
What If..
(c) Khomenko @ deviant
First of all... no, the guy is not an anime character. He is real.
I had to get that clear. Haha...
He's Eurasian. xP An amazing photographer and very very awesome at photoshopping.
(c) Lord-Kevinz @ deviant
--
Here's an amazing photo for a Wednesday. I took the advice from the photographer and listened to the song...and it felt very nice and perfect. Such a nice match.
What If..
(c) Khomenko @ deviant
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
trying to finish up what i started.
Life sucks. I have officially ruined what was suppose to be my masterpiece. I realized that my hand actually shakes a lot and I can't fineline very smooth lines...which is what led to my failure in finelining my sketch. Now I have ruined my original idea and must change some stuff...which I hate because I really loved my original idea. Grr...Anyways, I have given up trying so hard to talk to people...recently.
I feel that it completely pointless for me to try so hard to talk to people when they obviously got nothing to say which is why I haven't really been speaking much. I notice that I sometimes force myself to speak even though I have nothing to say...which makes me feel like I'm bs-ing the whole day. So...if you want to to, feel free to talk to me, but mind that I won't be very responsive...and that's not because I'm sad, mad or 'sick'. Yupyup.
-Of course, this doesn't mean that I won't be physcobabbling at times...just less. I wonder if this will ruin my hyper image. o-o'''
Ah, I want to mention that today, I have just ruined the 'pure and innocent' image Ms. Ho and Nicola had of me...with my dark and twisted art. Muahahaha!
I probably ruined my image for the people whose reading this blog. Sorry to disappoint you all. =\
--
Juice King's bubble tea...you have failed me. D:
I dread for tomorrow.
Monday, May 10, 2010
things blings ring-a-ligga-ling
I'm an Atheist.
I live life believing the phrase: "Everything happens for a reason."
Every action I take always have a reason behind it. Obviously, people are misreading them. No, actually, no one is trying to read them at all. If any misunderstandings happen or if my actions seem harsh...that probably means you're not trying to understand what I'm doing, you idiot!
(I'm never harsh...I'm soft like a teddy bear...)
--
Anyways, I have already passed my period of self-pity in the end of grade 6. I realized that there are so many people out there that are by far much worse than I am. I wish that people would stop and think of OTHERS before pitying themselves on how horrible their lives are. Everyone goes through a horrible social time at school. Everyone (most) people goes through financial difficulties. Everyone has their own problems. Stop being such wusses and self-pitying yourself. You're living. Isn't that a gift already?
If you have a family, if you have education, if you have food, if you have water, if you have a roof to live under, if you have clothes to wear, if you are able to read this blog entry...
THEN SHUT THE H*LL UP!
--
Feel regrets. Make things better. Think about your actions. Do what you believe is right. Live with no regret. Live life to the fullest (so cliche!).
If you want to die, then go die somewhere else...but remember, you have officially ruined the lives of at least 34681 people because of your stupid and ungrateful action.
Not to mention, you have officially lost your chance of ever winning a lottery ticket and driving a ice cream truck.
Go on...go die with the thought of missing the chance to see Joyce take over the world. Tough luck, sucker.
(If you're Christian, then you have just offended God with your actions and to me, I think just by destroying your life should be a sin. Selfish act done by a selfish person with no hope. SHAME ON YOU!)
--
Everyone feels lonely. Even if they're surrounded by friends and classmates, everyone feels lonely some point in their life. It not just one person.
Sometimes, I feel so out of place, even though I'm laughing with someone.
Stop self-pitying yourself and find the place you belong.
If you can't, you're not trying hard enough. If you can't, you're just lying...you wuss. If you can't...then just f*cking wait because out of the 6,697,254,041 people on Earth, there's bound to be someone to keep you company.
I live life believing the phrase: "Everything happens for a reason."
Every action I take always have a reason behind it. Obviously, people are misreading them. No, actually, no one is trying to read them at all. If any misunderstandings happen or if my actions seem harsh...that probably means you're not trying to understand what I'm doing, you idiot!
(I'm never harsh...I'm soft like a teddy bear...)
--
Anyways, I have already passed my period of self-pity in the end of grade 6. I realized that there are so many people out there that are by far much worse than I am. I wish that people would stop and think of OTHERS before pitying themselves on how horrible their lives are. Everyone goes through a horrible social time at school. Everyone (most) people goes through financial difficulties. Everyone has their own problems. Stop being such wusses and self-pitying yourself. You're living. Isn't that a gift already?
If you have a family, if you have education, if you have food, if you have water, if you have a roof to live under, if you have clothes to wear, if you are able to read this blog entry...
THEN SHUT THE H*LL UP!
--
Feel regrets. Make things better. Think about your actions. Do what you believe is right. Live with no regret. Live life to the fullest (so cliche!).
If you want to die, then go die somewhere else...but remember, you have officially ruined the lives of at least 34681 people because of your stupid and ungrateful action.
Not to mention, you have officially lost your chance of ever winning a lottery ticket and driving a ice cream truck.
Go on...go die with the thought of missing the chance to see Joyce take over the world. Tough luck, sucker.
(If you're Christian, then you have just offended God with your actions and to me, I think just by destroying your life should be a sin. Selfish act done by a selfish person with no hope. SHAME ON YOU!)
--
Everyone feels lonely. Even if they're surrounded by friends and classmates, everyone feels lonely some point in their life. It not just one person.
Sometimes, I feel so out of place, even though I'm laughing with someone.
Stop self-pitying yourself and find the place you belong.
If you can't, you're not trying hard enough. If you can't, you're just lying...you wuss. If you can't...then just f*cking wait because out of the 6,697,254,041 people on Earth, there's bound to be someone to keep you company.
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