insomnia

i think my insomnia is back again.

well, it probably never left me, to be honest.  ib work have definitely taken a toll on me and i guess that resulted in my ability to sleep right after school.  with everyone pulling all nighters, i think my weird nightly habits doesn't seem so odd and unnatural.  i think this kind of made me feel normal.

either way, i guess i should start finding something new to occupy myself.  previously, i used anime and manga as a distraction to keep my occupied - i guess that's why people assumed i was addicted to anime and such.
music doesn't help, sadly.

i tried listening to music earlier, a couple hours ago to calm myself down.  didn't work :( i was constantly restless and basically ruined the song.  the beautiful instrumental was now tainted.

i hate insomnia.  i hate the shadows that creep around the light.  i hate the eerie figure that leers above me.  i hate the dark aura behind my back.  i hate the images.  i hate the flashes of these faces unknown to me.  i hate the taunting smile that lingers in the corner of my eye.
i hate the illusions; i hate the nightmares;  i hate the hallucinations; i hate this paranoia.

....
surprisingly, even after biology class, i am still wide awake.  hopefully, i can last all the way till after school.