Number one might not always be the first.

I have decided to create a journal for my own pleasure.

An emo, random journal that will make no sense to all nor to myself. What's the purpose of this journal? To express my feelings or stress? Probably, I don't even know the answer myself. I hope there will be some answers out there, though that's probably not possible. If it does somehow come true, I hope to live and see it.

Now, for a self introduction...

I am a person who is totally lost. I have no purpose in life, nor am I searching for one. Due to my laziness and procrastinating personality, I end up moping about life. Personally, I like to admire amazing people and work although it makes me feel horrible about how I'm wasting myself, my life, my oppurtunity given by God.

I have no religion. I have no dreams at the moment, nor any goals. You may think I am quite a useless human, I will be offended though, but I probably agree. So far, after all the experiences I have gone through, I admit...I have learned many things. The experiences I had, is probably not very big nor that significant. I have never done anything extreme or meaningful.

Since a child, I had always wish to save people, to help others and make a difference. Travel around the world, do exotic things, experience different things. I do hope that will be possible. Are those my goals or dreams? I don't exactly think I will count them as my dreams or goal now.

Through this blog, I hope I can express myself to others, perhaps connect with those who are similiar to me. If anyone wants to yell at how I'm thinking so negatively, I don't mind, although I might get a little ticked off.

As you can see, I'm quite a contradicting person. I hate that side of me. I won't change how I am though because I want to see if I can ever meet someone who will fully accept and adapt to how I am, my thoughts, personality, appearance and just...everything! Probably in this lifetime, I won't be able find that person so I'll wait till my next life :D

I do not mind if this blog will never be read by anyone as long as no one I know in my life circle reads this, I will die happy.

I think I should start my first entry in another entry. That might make me feel more active. I think...

pockymeji.