been trying to reconnect and get good sleep

haven't been sleeping that well lately, until just recently.
been paranoid about things i guess and haven't really figured out what it is.

anyways,
i haven't blogged in a while.

what have i been up to?
i've been just trying to get things done and plan things for the near summer so that i won't be bored and will occupy myself. occupy my mind so i don't think stupid thoughts.
by the way, dad will be home soon! yay!

also need to start taking care of myself.
trying to get back to my sky routine since i have been having very sensitive skin now...especially after the humid winter weathers.
crazy pimples, super dry and oily skin. i feel gross myself. haha.

trying to get back into my series as well!
rediscover myself and become that happy self i once was...once upon a time.

time for bed.

time to grow up...

growing up and moving past the silly mistakes..

no chance at all

Not being given a chance at all. And this whole time,  my senseswas correct.  Whats the difference between that and giving up?  Hows that change?

Just noticed change and chance only differs in one letter,  'g' and 'c'.

How can i rest then?  Knowing everything i dont know,  realizing the problem isnt just anything.  The problem is me.  I know that.  Stop denying.

So tired...so much unsolved issues and problems lingering.   Yet,  i haven't even finished  and its too much already.

How yo find the solution then?  How to be the solution when theres a problem within.  When im a problem myself?

time to cry

been dying to travel and go somewhere instead of being trapped here.
seize the opportunities...i was told,
and here i am...trying to. but failing.

found this deal to go to peru for 7 days 6 nights for about 1.9k + round trip to JFK airport
so around 2.5k on groupon...
machu picchu, i crave to go there...
and with only 12 hours left for the deal, i can't find a second person who is willing to go.
who wants to see where i see.
all these people around me and not one person can go.

-hits head against wall-
why?
gahh!!!!
-sigh- time to hate my life again.
so much for an awesome summer and new beginnings.
stuck here once again, school, work..homework, exams.
same thing over and over.

and all i can comfort myself with is: there's always next time.
no.
there isn't.
it's always like this. urgh!

my korean phase?

I think it was pretty obvious I was obsessed with Korean music before, but now...it has died down tremendously since Kpop when mainstream.
Now and then, I would listen to the old songs I use to love and follow up with a few songs, as well as some indie ones.

Recently, I have been listening/watching this one a lot:


My sister showed it to me and I just love how the lyrics and music video played out together. Although dramatic MV is not something new to Kpop industry, I just like this one...
peeking into my playlists and a few of the newer songs I like, I guess the trend is the emotional lyrics and similar styles.  I Remember - Bang Yong Guk, a few of Nell's songs and this one are pretty similar I guess...in a sense.

Anyways, I have been going crazy marathon watching Gossip Girl and keep my mind off some stuff.....

I'll face some problems later...soon.

out than in

feeling so out of it (yeah, the no-capitalizing thing is back)...
stomach feels twisted and queasy, but not sick
head just buzzing, but not a headache

no patience to watch anime
no patience to watch gossip girl
no patience to watch movies
no patience to listen to music
no patience to sleep...

-yawn-

i'll probably just lay here until my eyes die out.

what happened?

my style: Hata Motohiro

i really love his music and believe he deserves much more attention!


the Hata Motohiro songs i have heard so far just fits with my indie jap music phase...the nice breezy sunny day where i would just lay there and drink milk tea in my room
blog, write, look at pictures
eat a popcicle
feel at bliss and just...happy.

yeah, i definitely like his music.
reminds me of the connection i felt when i heard sleepy.ab's works.

anyways, i really should get back to that essay which is due in a few hours...