Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Monday, November 28, 2011

exposed

finally opened up about one of my darkest secret and totally regretting.
i feel like i just disappointed someone i really care about and got her down.  i regret and wish i didn't say anything...

how will i make it up?

at the same time, i have just gotten so much closer to a dear friend.  definitely best friend level.
really did started getting closer to two people this year and they're really becoming my best friends. :')
that's good. i guess.  at least for me~

history & tok. -dies-

Sunday, November 27, 2011

the storm has cleared

after a rough time that still had some after effects, things have been clearing up.

great knowing whose out there and who to turn towards and look forward to seeing.  although it's not enjoyable, i think it's times like these where you find out who truly knows you well and who you can really rely on at hard times.
also, i realized how many amazing friend that really care about me.
i'm really getting spoiled by the people around me.  i really have great friends for sure :)

the amazing people around me makes me want to stand strong so i will be able to lend a shoulder, lend an arm or just be all ears for them when they need it.

definitely feeling better and the homework panic is clearing up as well.  TOK essay and H.I. stuff are coming up.
history Argentina test and math test and art portfolios.  but i think things are slowing down a bit more now, so that's good.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

what's wrong with me, lately?

Monday, November 21, 2011

breakdown

-sigh- i feel so weak. woke up and took a shower.  missing again and -sigh-...
i feel so bad, so grateful, so...i don't know.

all i know is that thank you for being there for me. you and him.
you, who just showed me Mr. Know It All - Kelly Clarkson, the song that i am listening to at the moment.
you, who tried talking to me and cheering me up.
you, who tried changing my negative thoughts.
you, who waited until i finished my call.

he, who called me in the end.
he, who talked to me although he's busy.
he, who told me it's normal.
he, who told me it's okay.
he, who told me i'm strong and i'll be fine.

thank you both. :')

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

wow, i've liked you for a whole year already now...

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Monday, November 14, 2011

worse than i thought...

well, turn out it was worse than i thought.  got over the fever, but my sister is convinced i should stay at home instead of risking it and taking my LA test today.
i'm starting to contaminate her and as a decent human being, she believes i should stay home instead of killing everybody else before all our deadlines.

sadly, i only got through my bamfield reflection and worked a bit on my world lit 2...that's it.  fail.  i slept A LOT. -sneeze-

still sounding manly.  wish i can seduce some female friends, but sadly, too busy to think of some cheesy pick up lines.
oh and i got a haircut yesterday...or yesterday yesterday.  yupyup, found my canadian stylist!  i didn't do anything drastic...but yeah, feel so much better cutting off some stress, or so i call it.

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woke up around 9 ish and decided to open my windows to find a nice, sunny day.  discovered i have quite a nice sky view from my window so i ended up listening to some french music and watched the clouds for an hour until mr. wu woke me up (upon my request).

so much drama and issues going on so today is just perfect.  as weird as this may sound, i love the feeling i am in right now...like, the process of getting better.  this numb...refreshing....bliss feeling.  and with this perfect, cool weather too.
maybe its the nana effect, but i don't know...reminds me of something from a while back.
think this is one of the feelings i have been recreating or looking for. hm....

Saturday, November 12, 2011

sore throat

munched on some green tea & honey vanilla ice cream from haagen-dazs and my throat was better! at least my voice sounded less manly...
now i'm just coughing to death while looking at some university admission stuff.

hmmm...should really continue and start my self reflection stuff for bamfield.  and perhaps do my wl2, ee, history assignment, history homework, study for history test, math homework and math quiz? :)

getting sick

my sore throat totally killed my voice. it's that time of the year again...yes, where i sound masculine and start trying to hit on my own female friends just to make myself feel cool. JK.
(...or not)

anyways, took a nap yesterday around 5pm and woke up 6am today...
it was still dark so i thought it was 9pm until i checked my phone and got a text at 9pm and realized i slept through a day. fail.
so much homework and i slept in!
have my WL2, EE, History test, history worksheet, more history homework to do because of issues, bamfield reflection, math homework, math quiz, etc..

anyways, i really crave for some mashed potatoes and chicken noodle soup. :(
guess i will just eat some more green tea ice cream. totally doesn't make sense, but it's making me happy T ^ T
cried so much because i was rewatching nana. -sigh-

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Last night at Bamfield

Totally will miss this place.
Wish to be back :(

such an amazing experience!

Saturday, November 5, 2011

BAMFIELD BAMFIELD BAMFIELD!!!

Officially here.  Still packing.
Went through a lot.  Woke up late, packed late, no bag, etc. etc.

A whole series of drama...which is really weird.
Through all this, I have come up with a conclusion:

I hate packing and I suck at it too.

Well, finally, I ended up with 3 baggage.  They look like they will blow, but it's all good ;D
I love you for helping out so much!  Honestly, can't express how much I appreciate your help!  Sorry to call your home phone in the middle of the night and dropping by your house at 12...

All that's left is to shower and eat and pick up Mr. Cheung Cheung.

Friday, November 4, 2011

relief

I probably bombed my history...
but it's over!  I was laughing and smiling so much right after.  Feeling that huge weight be lifted off my shoulders once I placed my test papers on the table is probably the best feeling I have experienced ever!

Cramming information into my head totally didn't help.
I was focusing more on my structure, counter and content this time than plain memorizing historiography...I guess historiography is my weakness this time. = ='' Fail.

Anyways, WL 2 and reading journals, here I come. :)

Thursday, November 3, 2011

experience

One of the main thing I learned from IB is how to prioritize. To me now:

Sleep > Food
History > English
History > TOK
History > Japanese
Biology > Math
Math > Art
Math > English
Biology > English
Sleep > Entertainment/self enjoyment
Test > Sleep

-sigh- I feel like I'm killing my body...not purposely.  Just that I'm really hungry right now, but I choose to study history over making food.  And I chose to finish up History over attending TOK class...
I chose lunch over math yesterday because I didn't want to experience the...no eating for 3 days like I did last week.  -sigh-  I blame my awful time management and slow working skills.

So much for baking or working out.  I miss them :(

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Martin Liu is a Jerk!

BAMFIELD! BAMFIELD!

Tough week this week.  At the moment: studying for both biology and math (mainly biology).  Also started working on World Lit 2.  Need to do my tutor homework for tonight as well! -sigh-
Tonight will also be devoted to studying about Stalin up to WW2 (and the fall of the Tsar).


But after all this...BAMFIELD!


Something I have really been looking forward to.  Although I'm not particularly close to anyone in my group, think it's going to be awesome!
Sadly, my incredibly small feet will be wearing boots 3 size bigger.  Watch me wear layers of socks to fit them! Yes, please expect lots of feet ache complains!


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So much for love at first sight.  Need to see him once more to confirm, if not, I believe I'm just giving myself the illusion that I'm over 'him' with this momentary kiddy crush (the kind you get in elementary school). Still happy though :)