busy week.

history history!

:(

I TOTALLY MISS YOU! :( you should come back.

--
When i'm sick...i'm extra emotional and plus, with the lack of sleep, my coffee and sugar rushes and crashing isn't making it easy for the people around me. I apologize if I seem like a freak and acted like a fool. :( -sigh-
Only slept for 2.5 hours.  Japanese kanji booklet, history homework and history studying.  I know I could've slept more if I did more of my kanji booklet before hand and actually read my history stuff prior to the night before the test. That would've made life easier.

Feels like I can fall asleep anywhere so I decided to leave tutor 15 minutes early, but had to wait for the bus 15 minutes in the rain under a not-so-helpful-umbrella. -sigh- I think my cold got worse. At least it's not hard to swallow today and my voice haven't fully changed yet. Plus, no pounding headache and annoying coughs. Just a runny nose and a few sneezes.  Ah, and one-sided stuffy nose.

The season when Joyce always get sick every year is coming. :) And after Joyce get sick, people start getting sick (not hinting that it's my fault LOL). Just warning everyone...

sick before history test :(

oh, the pain!

I was crying, screaming like a madman/woman earlier. Not intentionally, obvs, but because I was putting on those invisible bandaid called New Skin and it stings like crazy! I didn't expect that level of pain and just tears kept coming out...seriously like waterfalls.  Don't think my sister really know how to react because when she spoke, I was getting annoyed and irritated at everything...yet I guess I kind of wanted comfort as well.

Oh, I hate blisters.  -sigh-

something different this year!

Since it's grad year, and because I'm stupid and wanted to drown myself in stress, I have joined a few things this year! Totally excited.  Will definitely (hopefully) keep my mind off things (and/or people) that irritates me.

Today, formally (ish) signed up for cross country club!  First time ever and totally psyched :D
During clubs day, signed up for a few things as well, so yeah. Looking forward to those too. So basically, this year, I'm doing:
1. Library monitor
2. Cross country
3. Colts that Care
4. Grad committee (nothing much there though)
5. Create a Smile (still wondering what this is...haha)
6. Free the Children
7. Pottery-clay class volunteer

Going to be a busy year! Hopefully, I won't be too overwhelmed and stressed. I'm sure most of the clubs are quite chilled and I guess if I can't handle math tutor classes with pottery volunteer, I can always ask to quite pottery class. I'll see how everything turns out. Best wishes to me. Hope this will be a great year!

a different approach

Today, I'm trying a different method on getting enough sleep and doing my homework! Went to bed right after school (since my second sugar rush came crashing down for the second time of the day) and slept until 3:00am. Now, supposedly, I should be doing my homework (which isn't too much).  Not really working out the best because I have been watching some youtube videos...haha.

Should get to work now, but yeah, that long sleep did help me out.  Now I'm just really hungry.

what's the point?

I get annoyed of people who try to be discrete when they're nosing into you business by asking questions, hoping you don't know what they're thinking...but yes, I know what you're trying to figure out!
If you have something to ask or say...just say it.  Don't ask a bunch of useless questions, trying to cover up your nosiness.  Newsflash: it's not working and on the contrary, it's actually quite obvious in an annoyingly obnoxious way.

No point asking me what my plans are in order to indirectly figure out your 'that' person's plan.
1. stop stalking me just because i talked to whoever your 'that' person is
2. go ask 'that' person yourself instead of snooping around my stuff
3. if you're curious, just ask flat out instead of pretending you're interested

thank you very much.

a song from back in the days

if you have been skyping with me, you should know i have been listening to this song a lot. haha. sorry!

really tired of the same thing over and over. what happened to respect in this world? and what a long entry

I have been ranting irl for so long! I'm so tired of all this.  Really need to talk it out and face the problems straight on, but something keeps holding me back.  Maybe it's the fact that I'm always facing the problems, not the opposing party.

Anyways, what made me so mad today and these days is how people are so inconsiderate of other people's feelings.  How they have to announce things publicly, disregarding privacy and the fact that it might actually hurt other people.
Are there no other methods of telling your opinions instead of telling EVERYBODY? Maybe, umm, tell the original person how you feel instead of letting the rest of the world know in the process?

My English world lit was trashed today (idea and all) by someone and throughout the class, while we were suppose to be editing, my essay was laughed at. No, it wasn't because of grammatical errors, the person editing my work was laughing at the concept and showing it to people around him...laughing at it.
I actually considered standing up, walking over to that person and punching the guts out of him until he started spewing brains out.  If you know me well enough, you probably know that I don't like just anyone editing my work.  I actually have 2 people I share my work to and only they will edit my work.  Those two people I trust with my life that they will give me honest opinions and insightful feed backs.  Brilliant writers...both of them.
So yeah, I was basically near tears after the end of English...listening to the person laugh at my work with his friend...confidence in my essay all lost.  I was furious, upset, hurt and everything else that relates to anger and depression.

I was and still is so thankful for my friend/classmate who sat next to me.  She listened to my rant afterwards and was comforting me throughout.  A friend indeed.  Reminded me that I didn't have to listen to what the person editing my work says.  I remembered how I have 3 (now 4) of the most trusted adults I believe in had approved of my idea.
Mr. Miller, Mr. Vicente, and one of the editor...and now Ms. White.
That certainly helps me regain my confidence in my paper.  SO...to the person who edited my paper: $@#^%#(*)(*#)(*(*@#$!! DROP DEAD (jk)

On the other hand, I'm seriously thinking what a want in a relationship/friendship.  Is what I have really suitable for me.  Are all these conflicts, problems, silliness or whatever I have really what I should be having while going through IB.
Obviously, this year, I have started meeting some new people and surprised by how compatible and fun I'm having with people I never really knew for 4 years!  At the same time, I started to learn some new stuff about people I have known for a long time...whether it's rediscovery some old qualities I love or learning something new that I like and don't like.
Why I'm bringing this up is that I'm starting to get really tired of a few things that has been recurring for some time.  It's becoming a routine and it's not the best routine to have, especially now that stress is starting to pile up and my ranting is starting to become annoying HAHA.
I guess what stops me from solving 'this' problem is that I'm always the one initiating the resolution of our previous problems.  And because of that, (I think) none of the problems were really resolved since only one party was doing the work...that's why it keeps happening.  Now, I'm just really tired of being the one started the resolution.  Not being the first party to just say 'sorry', but being the party to actually APOLOGIZE and try to fix things...figure out the root of everything.

So here's the question: Are we compatible? Should this problem even worth working out?

suddenly started missing zombie-loan...probably because i saw scenes of resident:evil apocalypse while i was working out and nearly stumbled on the treadmill.

 

first day of school: definitely tired!

i really love my schedule to be honest.  although this year, i have only one spare, my schedule is very balanced. currently staying up to work on my map due friday.
VERY unlike me to work on homework that was assigned the same day...

that's how freaked out and intense i am! hopefully, this will keep up, haha.  thought ms keirn scares me, she's intensely hilarious.
definitely will get to like her some more, like how i like mr peters!

so tired! no lockers for grade 12. it's ridiculous! we're the ones who need them the most and they give it to those newbie grade 8s! this is madness!
i had to carry two heavy history textbooks, 3 novels, heavy pencil case, 2 notebooks, binder with 2 folders in it, 2 other folders, a lemon tea juice box, an extra cardigan, my handy bag (with eye dropper, tissue, lotion, etc.), my wallet, and my change back!
insanely heavy for a first day!

aside from that, i guess it's all good.  baked some cookies earlier as 'you-can-do-it-joyce!' cookies. yes, they are pillsburry dough boy instant cookies. every since i was younger, i was addicted to them. soft ones, not cooled down crunchy ones though...
i also got a chance to wash my big-sized dippo stuff animal since i spilled tea on it. :(
still drinking tea with my little traditional chinese teapot. definitely mentally preparing myself for tomorrow. thank gosh no bio tomorrow. i overslept for tok this morning! so ashamed.

so tired to...still haven't gone to work out! really need to train myself for cross country club and sun run! go-go-go!

back to school

Tomorrow, even if it's just an hour, is the first day of school! So tired and I really am not use to it.  Just got use to summer and now it's over!
Been skyping so much. Have Skype + Tinychat party xD Epic-ness!

Anyways, just came home from save on, but will be heading to Yaohan soon (so late)...
Going to buy ingredients so yeah..for egg tarts tomorrow! Making some for some people to try:
1. Jenn
2. Jkwok
3. Cheungcheung
4. Hankiee-chan
5. PYL
6. (Hoolio?)

Still uncertain about the amount...-sigh- I did mention it to a few people and never got a specific answer.  Anyways, hopefully, it will go successful today! Wish I can watch some movies.  Running out of time and I have been so caught of with a drama, Beauty Knows No Pain.  I'm watching it 'cause I already started and might as well finish it.

Anyhow...I hate how my 'watchlist' just suddenly increased even though summer is ending!  An online friend that suddenly gave me a list of things to watch and a few friends who suggested that Steins;Gate is super good. -sigh- Why is it that the first half of the summer seems boring and slow and the second half is so enjoyable and fast?

Good luck to everyone for going back to school! Hopefully, this year won't be so bad...

back to the routine!

today is my first day back to my routine! So out of shape and the biking totally making my calves ache. i miss the aching i got the first time i started!

today:
8 min - warm up walking
22 min - running (6.0mph)
2 sets - ab machine (1 on 50 and 1 on 55)
10 min - hardcore elliptical
10 min - walking/jogging on elliptical
5 min - warm up walking
10 min ish (or more) - running (6.5mph)
5 min - hard core biking (70-80rph)
10 min - light biking
3 ish 4 min - hard core biking

shower.
Gotta train!

things just don't go the way you plan

sometimes, no matter how well you plan things...no matter how nice its starts off with,

the end just doesn't go the way you want.
doesn't end the way you expect it to end.
won't match up to how you imagined.

normally, back then, after feeling this 'disappointment'...i would sulk and be angry. i would be upset and rant about how we/i should just stop having expectations.  stop creating such high ideals because it would only tumble down and crush my own spirits.

for some reason, i don't think that.  i guess i should just change the way i think and feel about this. these 'disappointments' or unexpected endings are what molds our opinions and thoughts.  it's definitely helping me decide what my next move is.

-sigh- i hate it when i sound cliche or trashy. haha.

i miss dad.