Monday, May 31, 2010


To-Do: Complete my To-Do list.

did i mention how gorgeous my sisters terani dress was
it arrived from new york and we went to try it out on sunday
still need to do the fitting and edit the dress to fit perfectly
but shoes first

shoes shoes shoes

last day of may

Sunday, May 30, 2010

find a way

sunturday movie

I managed to sneak in a movie today-ish!

Finally got acquired Leap Year and watched it. I thought it was very very sweet. xD A cute, cliched movie...very enjoyable for the weekends. I won't say it's the best, but I quite liked it. xP Mathew Goodes looked awesome xDD and of course, Amy Adams is just gorgeous. I think the main thing I loved about the movie wasn't the plot or anything, but the scenary. I really need to go to Ireland and just...all around England. It's beautiful!

The ending was really romantic and sweet =P Cliched, once again, but yeah. Look past the unoriginality and it's awesome! I think the two looked awesome together =P Mathew Goodes looks better unshaved. That's all I can say. xD

Another weekend wasted-ish. I was hoping to start some stuff, but yeah. Anyways, I haven't been blogging since I have been occupied with some stuff. I dropped all anime series I have been watching, all manga reading, all music video and trailer stalking and all blog following. Amazing.

I had to blog once about our awesome planning with the handsome guy =D Haha. Just had to mention it. Now I have a purple pen! Yay!

I went for cheesecake today with my dad, sister and brother. It was SOOOOOO good. Man, I love night-cake snacking time. xP The drink I ordered was awesomee~~ Royal Thai which has coconut milk and lychee. Sounds weird, but it tastes awesome. The lychee taste just adds that refreshing feel to it. xP

I'm out.

Thursday, May 27, 2010


I haven't blogged for a while! Been quite occupied with some stuff, but not being exactly...productive. Plus, I am once again obsessed with this song. I just love Amplified...wish they continued to make more music. D: Chris Edwards -heart- I love him xD and still will forever~~ His voice is just so nicee~ I have decided that I would marry, if I do, someone with an awesome voice. Haha xD

Cutest song ever...and the best. The legs are suppose to be hairy, but I can't find the one with the hairy legs...D: Elizabethhhh~~~

Monday, May 24, 2010


I think I'm starting to become a little greedy. I wish for the 4-day break to be longer. I really need another break. xD In the end, I only managed to watch one movie, 9. Supposedly, today, I am suppose to go watch Shrek 4, but I have no idea if that will happen...based on reasons I cannot reveal..hahahahaha, it's a funny one.

Anyways, and tommorow, I'm hoping to watch Letters to Juliet so I might tag along with my sister and her friends, then watch separately since she doesn't seem to want me there and it will be weird. xD
I still need to see Iron Man 2, Robin Hood, How To Train a Dragon, Losers, and etc.. I feel so depressed since I'm sure I can't watch all that...that already, is about $40 and yesterday I spent a lot and plus, I don't think I can spend around 8 hours at the theatre nor do I believe How To Train a Dragon is still airing. -sigh-

See...I'm becoming greedy. Grrrr...shameee.

I woke around 1:40 pm ish. I realized no matter how early or late I sleep, I tend to wake at 2pm which is weird. Yesterday, I broke my record with 11:05pm. xD That was fun. I wasted A LOT of money...and it was on food.
I had a REALLY good drink from 8 Juice @ Aberdeen, Teriyaki Chicken Casserole and Iced Cafe au Lait @ Aoyama, and Lychee Green Tea @ Totoro Cafe. It was so good. I feel fattening. xP Plus, I bought A LOT of candy for some purpose so I spent at least $40 something and I already feel VERY guilty.

I was in such a good mood until my stupid brother ruined it. -sigh- He used to be such a cute little angel. What happened to him? Now he's a jerk and ticks me off like crazy with his horrible atittude. GAHHHHHH!!

I miss the cute lil ol' brother who listens to whatever I say...whatever everyone says. -sigh- Wait till your little siblings change. They won't stay innocent angels thing you know...they're fat and annoying brats that will haunt the rest of your life and tick you off until you want to throw them out with the trash. -cries-...

Yupyup, glad that I got that out...though it doesn't help relieve any anger because right now, that annoying brat ise vaccumming and it's too noisy to concentrate on anything! Way the go....ruin my morning-ish afternoon and stop me from doing anything.

My head hurts...

I shall go find something to do...and continue to be angry and sulk about where the angel has gone off to.

c ya!

Saturday, May 22, 2010


Anything Tim Burton related...I will always fall in love with. I just finished watching 9 and it was AMAZING! Quite a short film though, around 1 hour and 20 minutes. It was a movie aired in the theatre and I have always wanted to go and watch it, but never got the chance to...sadly. I thought it was quite and quite sad at some point. LOVE THE ANIMATION!

The designs are adorable (in a way xD) and exquisite.
-sigh- I love it. xD The dark-ish color scheme of the movie gives me the chills, and I just love it. xD Muahahaha!

Anyhow...I recommend it because...Tim Burton is one of the producers =D The idea was actually very unique, touching and special, but the theme is like Wall-E, you could say. If you liked Wall-E, you might like 9 as well.

the French poster xP


I realized I would really not want to live to see the end of the world. The Day After Tomorrow, Resident Evil 3, 9, Wall-E, and other movies showed the end of the world such a dark, abandoned and creepy place. Even though I love watching those movies, it is way too much for me to actually have to live in those conditions of fearing everything around me.

Like, if the whole world ends of the whole human population turns into zombies, I think I would probably give in to my fear and become a coward. I won't fight to survive, but commit suicide before the zombie virus infects me. Don't think I will want to endure the torturous idea of killing my friends and family nor the idea of being bitten and eaten alive by some mindless monsters that were supposedly my friends and family. I won't want to stay human and live, having to be cautious of my surroundings and doubting everyone around me. So yeah, I'll probably commit suicide before all that happens.

Call me a coward, I admit, I am.

I just want to die living with the memory of a nice and kind Earth with happy people on it. =D

Spent 5 minutes of yesterday playing Google PAC MAN. xD
Oh and I watched 35 episodes of anime. Be amazed. Gasp. =P

Friday, May 21, 2010

should have touched wood when I had the chance...darn it

First of all, I would like to point out that 2 entries below is the blog entry about my sister's Terani dress...if you are interested. Due to my blogging addiction and my blabbermouth, in this case...blabberfingers, the entry below this was a little too long which is why you might've missed the Terani one.

Just to let you know, it's not really because I type too much, more like...the format of this blog is very...squishy and it makes me entry look long D: I had something to point out, but I forgot...again.

The reason for the title of this entry is because I had a fever yesterday. Yes, I actually did. My back still hurts, but back, neck and shoulders were aching like crazy and I was just burning up with a horrible headache and poundings haunting my sleep.

Now, I ache a little less and no more horrible pounding. Just feeling out of it...sick-wise.

How unlucky...from stomache flu to a fever and now I guess...a cold. I have a feeling my voice is changing soon because my throat has a little funny feeling to it....which is usually the sign of coughing and voice changing. Anyways, good luck to me. I just ruined my 4 day break...greeeeeaaaaattt.

Aside from getting sick, I did something incredibly stupid. I have decided to attack a series I have been wanting to for a long time, but is completely ridiculous and I haven't because it is way to long and hard to keep track of when you're older and have way too much homework to even care about.

I have started watching One Piece.

Yes, be amazed. Gasp.

...I will probably blog later, if I'm not watching a movie. xD

Thursday, May 20, 2010

today is another kind of day...i think

I rewatched The Presitge! I'm still in excited. I'm still enchanted. I'm still in love! I also rewatched half of Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs. xD He's just so adorable~ REMOTE CONTROL TELEVISION!!

1. The Plegdge
2. The Turn
3. The Prestige

Twisted. Clever. Eerie. Scandalous. xD Time for me to read the book. =D

By the way, PYL, I'm not exactly stalking you...actually...since you don't even blog much =='''. Haha. Of course, if you ignore the fact that I watch you from my room with a pair of binoculars...then we're like regular friends! =)


Even though I say I stalk people...I realize...I actually don't, shockingly. -gasp- I tend to just stalk arts, music and general. I LOVE it when I find something amazing, then I go view the artist and then discover even more amazing things. When that happens, I always feel blissful. xD Haha. That's why my deviantart has so many favorites. I favorite more than I upload.

...Melody and Emma makes me want to work with clay D:
Ever since last year's cup I made of 'The Scream', I never touched clay...T ^ T What a tragic...

I actually 'like' school today, which is weird. Seems to pass by so fast, probably because I have the long weekend to look forward to. I also don't have homework either. Socials will be easy as pie, because I already know what to right. I will spend some time to think about the poem I will write and as for science, I can do that easily since it's just vocab (the sub's voice is SOOOOO boring! Science sucked) and math...I will study/review some stuff.

Since math was so quiet, I ended up eavesdropping xP woops.

I noticed it's really weird how people are so obsessed with Korean stuff. Not that Korean things aren't good, since I was obssessed with them once (keyword: was). It's Korean moment is over and I just feel that it's a little over-rating. It's also weird to see guys go 'fangrl'-y over korean girls.

They're offence.

I really don't like how Korean celebrities had plastic surgery. Of course, there are always those rare pure beauties that everyone is jealous of...but I just think celebrities having plastic surgery is wrong. Especially when they have so many fans, they shouldn't. They have such powerful influences over younger kids and just society itself. It makes it seem as if plastic surgery is okay. It is okay when it's because of accidents and something needs to be fixed, but I just think that celebrities doing it for beauty is saying they aren't beautiful.
Everyone is beautiful.

We are all different and unique. Why do plastic surgery and change your face? It's like an insult to yourself, saying you're ugly, and it's not natural...=='' Especially now, when the whole Eurasian plastic surgeries are popular.

What bugs me the most isn't the surgery itself, but the people who had surgery and claims they're naturally born that way. It's ticks me off and just...bothers me a lot that they're claiming they're who they're not, posing as someone else and just abandoning their true self for another idenity, just to please everyone (appearance-wise).

I want a tattoo.

Lemony Snicket's Count Olaf's ankle eye tattoo is so cool! So
eerie and twisted. xP Tempting me, but the pain that comes with it is definitely a turn away.

I shall continue to think of a nice tattoo idea, I'm sure if I do find the perfect one, I will probably get one. Of course, who knows what I'll think of this 10 years from now? Doubt a lady with 5000 cats would want a tattoo D:


I finally published this entry which I blogged yesterday...for permission to reveal the dress xP

and yes...some stuff are in Japanese...and some stuff..are VERY long xP My long to-do list =)

Okay, my sister has already ordered her's still unknown when the dress will arrive from New York. xD I don't think anyone in her year has ordered any Terani dresses! I heard some people are ordering from Jovani (which ranges around 200-400) and I don't really like it. The style isn't really to my liking, too summery and flowery. Definitely won't match me and I think it's just so...yeah. Don't know how to explain. x. x''

Her Terani dress...It's gorgeous...but then again, very expensive. So far, yeah, it's around 600or so. She also has to pay for the fitting which is about 50 so yeah...650 in total, probably. xD

I really really think it's gorgeous. Really, fairy tale like, so I like it. =P

-sigh- She still has to do her hair, manicure, shoes and bag! Most likely a clutch bag, I suppose...=\ Oh, and a shawl to match the dress. For makeup, she already has a solution xD My dad's best friend's wife worked at the TV station before and knows how to do professional makeup, yay! Haha.

Anyways, I feel that I'm quite excited for her prom...o-o. Can't wait to see her dress, of course. After searching painfully through google, I was able to find a picture of her dress. Terani<3 big ="D]

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

new new new...

as you may have noticed...I changed some stuff (headings) into Japanese katakana...just to play around. xD Hopefully, it's not being an inconvience. With common sense, you'll probably get which button is which...even without knowing Japanese. =)


Aside from that, I'm hoping to do some artwork sometime soon. xD Photoshop or something. I miss doing that D:


I want to blog about my sister's dress, but I don't want to spoil the surprise...o-o''

Tuesday, May 18, 2010


around this time, yesterday...everyone was waiting...counting down to 12am to apply for summer school. It was so hardcore! So scary...lagged my laptop like crazy. The site kept crashing and lagging and then I got sad and mad.

My hand was actually sweating and was really hot. x . x'' I don't want to try this again D:
Fighting with Asian mothers who are helping their kids apply for summer school and the other fellow grade 10ers...applying for physics 11, socials 11, and math 11 or something like that.


I have become a professional Melody, PYL and Ian stalker. =) [and many more...]

(please imagine the following in Dory's singing voice...AKA...Ellen)

just keep coloring, just keep coloring, what do we do we color...color...color...



No, I did not skip school today. I had a stomache flu or something. x . x'' Felt horrible during Summer School hours already. Head bursting due to last minute science workbook and math...


I haven't watched or read manga for TWO amazed.


I finally got around to watching New Moon.
Man, the acting sucks...they showed no emotions. I think the end acting was probably better than the beginning. Even I could do better than that...seriously.

She did not seem like she was in pain when he left. More like an...asthma attack.
When Bella screamed at night...she sounded more like she was in labor...which really scared me and I had to pause the movie...

Rewatching UP was funny...same for Brides War. Vera Wang...
"You do not alter Vera to fit you, you alter yourself to fit Vera..." LOL!

Monday, May 17, 2010

depressed & tired.

I have droned on and on about how I had enough of this and really, I had enough. I'm so depressed and tired. I don't need all these problems adding onto my problematic life.

Looks can be deceiving...


Aside from that, I'm also really annoyed. Don't be so full of yourself, really. Don't just talk to me whenever you feel like it, I'm not your secondhand, back-up toy for you to play with whenever you're bored. Poop off, if you're not going to treat me as a friend.


Just because I am/was here, doesn't mean I'll always be.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

good ol' times.

I remember watching and rewatching the VCR. (I always rewatch/reread things =D).
After stalking a blog, I remembered I wanted to look for some of my favorites again.

This one, Flamigo, is hilarious. xD So cute: 'Carnaval des Animaux' by Camille Saint-Saëns. I think this is just like highschool. =D

I have always loved the Rhapsody in Blue the most. My favorite symphony from Fantasia 2000. I love the artwork and the little girl is so adorable! xD It's just so unique. The music and everything, live every other symphony, fits perfectly.

I use to get really scared of this one and feel like I want to cry when everything was gone (2:46...scared like crazy when I was a kid), but rewatching this's very very beautiful. The music, the animation, and the story of course. Here, Igor Stravinsky's Firebird.

They are the few symphonies I remember from Fantasia 2000. I think I watched the 1940 before, but I can't remember that as well. The other ones I remember is the Tin Soldier one (Steadfast Tin Soldier), that's the one that made me hate Jack-in-the-boxes, haha. There was also the weird whale one...which I never understood. Of course, who could forget the awesome Mickey Mouse one and the walking broomstick that carries pails of water. Ah, the Donald Duck and the ark. xP They are the ones I remember better.

a million times.

I have rewatched A Walk To Remember...again. xD
I've probably seen this movie 5-6 times by now and I still get teary-eyed. Well, I do get extra emtional because of these movies, but I remember the first couple times watching, I was sobbing. ><'' Same for The Notebook<3. Anyways, I just love Landon Carter played by Shane West. =P In love like crazy! Mandy Moore was just so captivating when she sang 'Only Hope' and she's just so pretty! Especially in her MV Cry.


I just love the MV! Shane west<3

Saturday, May 15, 2010


I usually blog about what I feel and think at the moment, as well as what I am doing as well. The latest blog entry (I reread it), I noticed I sound so...conceited and so full of myself. -ugh-.

-sigh- I need to kibitz with some people more. =\

Right now, I'm completely sushi-overloaded. Haven't been around my laptop for a while. My sister is still going on and on about her prom dress. She has finally found one! It's $500 something. $200 more than her Betsey for Winter formal. It's really expensive =='' for something you're only going to wear once. Haha. But I guess I'll support her. It is really pretty. Let me know if you want to see =D I'm sure my sister will be happy to share. ><''

Song obsessed with (aside from bullets - tunng and the kook's accent! xD melody...). Love the guitar in the beginning and how the song ends...

staying up 1:22am in the morning to listen to music and do last minute english tutor homework. yawn.

I'm about to give up soon, on finishing up my homework. Probably will end up waking up earlier to work on it, if I do give up tonight...or this morning. Anyhow, I am talking to some good ol' friends. xD

I also realized how fake some people can be. I probably mentioned something like this before, but then yeah. I feel like the need to complain. Sometimes, people just make up some excuses or say something that obviously implies another hidden message, which is obviously not hidden and practically thrown right at your what's the whole point of this stupid excuse of a line? Just so fake.

If you something to say, then say it (to my face). Don't pretend (say one thing and think another).

Friday, May 14, 2010


An explaination for my previous blog entry title: I sneezed when I typed that.


Ah, one thing...I really dislike today's PE sub. Usually, I would prefer practically anyone over Glier...other than Lochbaum, but I really didn't like today's sub. He totally hated me...I know that for sure.
Since we go to the Brighouse park to play kickball, Glier always tells us to go about 30ish because it takes us a while to walk there and we had to change. Plus...they unlock the door slow and girls change slower. He though I was just trying to get out of PE early and then in the end, while we were waiting for the bell to ring, he was like: see, we came back early and now we're just standing here to wait.

Like the person I am, I kind of got defensive. I was totally angry. I told him (and the others around agreed), that we ALWAYS waited. It was JUST right! I was right! I just changed faster, but some other girls are still changing, I swear. Plus, if we are so-called 'early', then why are the OTHER classes waiting with us as well? Grrrr...he completely ticked me off and I do not like him! Grrr!

Aside from that (which somewhat ruined my morning), I realized I attract bees. o-o''
During the kickball game when my team had to be in the fields, a bee was flying REALLY near me and I had to turn around and move away a lot to lose it. A few minutes ago, another bee was buzzing by my window for no particular reason. The same thing happened a few days ago as well. I hate no honey or sweets near my window. Thank God for the net protecting thingy!


Been feeling so 'out of it' this whole week. Feeling depressed for no reason at all and for some reason, today was the worst. I feel worst today than I did when I got back my horrible science test. =\
I really need something to do. Anime and manga just isn't 'fascinating' to me anymore. The news ones are getting very old and boring. No new amazing plot lines that are worth getting excited over. I even finished chasing all the mainstream MANGAS - which are like...500+ chapters. So bored.

I have a new obsession though. Not telling what.

The calmness I have been experiencing is quite nice. Like right now, typing up a blog entry, drinking tea and listening to the birds chirp outside. During the summer is when I love my room the most. It's blue and it's cool! I was just in my sister's room, helping her look at prom dresses, until I couldn't stand the heat anymore. =='''

I'm almost finished reading a one day. I hope I will finish today to make it 1 =D I feel like my reading mode might be back. I really need to finish Wayfarer Redemption. It's been nearly a year and the book still sits there. I've only read the prologue and 2 chapters. I had to reread them because I got distracted by other books and my memory of what happened is fuzzy. A million pieces is on hold again when I was reading the online story below this entry. I really have to stop reading multiple books at once...and increasing my list.

i will wait:
(c) m0thyyku

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

be prepared for an ultra long blog entry..

I spent most of yesterday reading the newly found story! Blood Moon. It's an online story. Basically, about the struggle between lycans and vrykolakas. It all started because of two man battling for power. Now, the two race are trying to completely wipe out the other race in other to stop this 'curse'. It's not your typical vampire story. xD So don't groan about it! Had something to say...but forget. Meh =='''



Lilith Angela sat in her plush couch and dispassionately took another sip of her red wine. Staring into the flames of her fireplace, memories Lilith tried to bury began to reemerge. Her loneliness encouraged the memories to surface. That was the reason Lilith tried to keep herself busy all the time. In nearly 600 years one would have thought that Lilith had forgotten about her past life, her only life really, considering she was dead. If not forget about it, at least gotten over it. But she couldn't let go and couldn't forget about that life. It seemed like centuries since then. It was centuries since then, Lilith corrected bitterly. Trying to push out the face of a strikingly handsome man from her mind, Lilith took a gulp of her wine. But what hit the home run was that beautiful laugh of a child. He was so small and precious to Lilith. She missed the way he would cling to her legs and laugh 'Ma! Ma!'

"D*mn it all to H*ll!" Lilith sneered to the empty room.

No alcohol could numb her senses. It was both a blessing and a curse that alcohol had no effect on her. At that very moment Lilith considered it a curse. She wanted to blur that achingly familiar face into an indistinct shape, something unrecognizable. But the harder she tried to forget, the stronger her feelings became. Maybe one day she'd be able to forget about him. But what she wanted to forget the most was the pain of losing her baby. Their baby. Yeah, and maybe one day I'll be human again, Lilith thought sarcastically.

1407 A.D.

Lilith Caldwell just turned fifteen. It was the most joyous day of her life! Today, Lilith assured herself as she went about her chores. Today, she would tell the village leader's son, Roderick McElroy, that she loved him now that she was a grown woman. Of course Roderick probably wouldn't be interested in her declaration of love, considering she was younger than him, but she couldn't keep it a secret any longer. She just had to tell him and by all that was Holy, it would be that very day!

She had first fallen in love with Roderick when he saved her from drowning at the age of nine. He dived into the water without any hesitation to rescue her and got sick for doing so. Lilith visited him every day for the next fortnight while he made his recovery. He had been so kind in reassuring her it wasn't her fault and promising to teach her to swim. As soon as he got better, Roderick had taken her to the river and taught her to swim. Sometimes they'd sit on the bank and he would teach her to read. Lilith didn't know about anyone other than the village leader's sons that could read or write. It was around the age of thirteen Lilith began to notice her feelings towards him. Roderick had just turned seventeen and was spending less and less time with her. Instead he would keep company with other boys from the village or spend his time charming village girls closer to his age.

But Lilith had faith. She would go to the river everyday when the sun was high in the sky. Roderick's visits started to come less frequently until one day he just stopped visiting all together. It had been three weeks of waiting fruitlessly before Lilith finally got the idea that he wasn't going to met her at the river anymore. Lilith straightened her spine and dusted off imaginary dirt from her best dress. Although the dress was Lilith's best, she knew it wasn't better by a lot. She spotted Roderick ducking behind a cart and quickly made her way towards him with a huge smile on her pretty face.

Roderick saw Lilith before she saw him. Thinking he could escape her hawk-like vision, he foolishly hid behind a cart. He hit his forehead with the palm of his hand, congratulating his intelligence. A pair of dainty feet came into Roderick's downcast sight. He groaned in irritation as he looked up into the most captivatingly green eyes it was his displeasure to come across. Letting out the breath he was holding, in unsuccessful hopes of being quiet and not attracting her attention, Roderick stood.

"Milord," Lilith curtsied.

Roderick eyed the ridiculously huge smile on Lilith's face with wry observation. "Lilith, I 'ave known yee since yee were a 'lil lass, yee needn't call me milord," Roderick said with the Irish burr Lilith loved the moment he asked her if she was alright after dragging her out of the river.

"Roderick," she whispered shyly.

Groaning again, Roderick rubbed a hand over his face and looked around skittishly. He was vainly wishing one of his friends was nearby so he could politely get away from Lilith. He knew this day would come. Although he did not like to admit he very much liked Lilith, there could never be anything from their mutual interest. Roderick knew his father needed him to marry well and be a good leader for their clan as the eldest son. Marrying well did not include marrying the blacksmith's daughter. Also, Lilith was not someone he could dally with then forget when the time came for him to marry the daughter of a neighboring clan.

"Can I talk to yee please? It willna take long. I promise."

Opening his mouth to say he had to be somewhere at the moment, Roderick hesitated when he recognized the pleading look in her eyes. With another sigh Roderick nodded and began walking towards the river. The short walk was silent as Lilith followed three-steps behind him. The only sound heard was the crunching of dry leaves and small twigs breaking underfoot. They reached the river and Roderick turned around suddenly, wanting the moment to be over with. Lilith had been studying the dying autumn leaves and did not notice Roderick's quick move until she had bumped into him. An embarrassed flush tinged her cheeks as she pulled out of Roderick's steadying hands.

"Do yee remember when yee saved me from drowning?" Lilith started off as she looked up into his face.

"I canna forget. I almost died when I got sick."

Lilith looked away guiltily and Roderick felt like kicking himself for his rudeness. Not attempting to continue, Lilith bit on her lower lip and began twisting the rough material of her dress between two tight fists. This was not how it was suppose to go at all, Lilith thought sadly. Tears sprang to her eyes as she thought about her admission of love going horribly wrong. Roderick held his ground even when he saw her bite down on her trembling lip. He wanted to soothe her, but he knew doing so would give Lilith the wrong impression. So as an alternative to comforting her, Roderick began tapping his foot, pretending to grow impatient.

"If yee got none to say lassie, I canna be standing out here all day. I have things to do, yee ken?"

Nodding mutely Lilith took a deep shuddering breath to calm her turbulent feelings and started again. She opened and closed her mouth several times, unable to say anything. Roderick bit back a smile. The adorable opening and closing of her mouth reminded him of a fish. He could tell she was becoming frustrated and almost pitied her.

"I know I'm still young and not as pretty as Maggie or Caledonia. Yee prolly think me foolish, but I had to tell you," Lilith took a deep breath, "I love yee."

Breathing nervously, Lilith waited in agony for his reply. The silence grew deafening and Lilith dared to glance up to see Roderick's expression. He looked unsurprised by her declaration, bored even. Lilith looked searchingly into his dark brown eyes, hoping to see a flicker of some kind of emotion. There was none. His eyes had turned hard and cold. The look was that of a predator. Lilith shivered at the thought. Stepping back from Lilith, Roderick held Lilith's gaze.

He couldn't accept her feelings and he couldn't return her feelings. He was going to marry the girl his father wanted him to; a girl who would know what he really was and be a dutiful wife to him as his mother was to his father. His family curse. How could he be with Lilith and not tell her his horrible secret? He did not want Lilith to learn about whom or really, what he was. He didn't want to look into her eyes and see the disgust, or worse, fear. Roderick cared too much for Lilith to marry her. Hardening his resolve, Roderick looked at Lilith with a pseudo smirk.

"I doona know wot to say to that. Did yee think I were gonna say I loved yee too? Lassie, yer father's the blacksmith. Yee should set yee attention on some common village boy. I'm the next leader of this clan. Wot makes yee think I'd be interested in yee, wee lass?"

Tears fell silently down Lilith's cheeks as she listened to Roderick's words. Her admission of love did go horribly wrong. She some what expected being the blacksmith's daughter made her unworthy of Roderick. But she did not know how painful the truth was until Roderick told her in that patronizing way of his. Roderick answered her with a slightly condescending voice, that Lilith had suspect he was more than just irritated with her declaration. She guessed he was seething that a common girl such as she would even have the nerve to think her feelings might be returned.

Roderick's blasé expression faltered when he saw her crying silently. But Roderick held his ground, even when Lilith wiped the tears from her eyes with a delicate sniffle, even when she bowed and apologized for her insolence, even when she turned to head back home and out of his life forever.

(c) aaddicted

in love in love in love--

I'm totally in love.
First of all... no, the guy is not an anime character. He is real.

I had to get that clear. Haha...

He's Eurasian. xP An amazing photographer and very very awesome at photoshopping.

(c) Lord-Kevinz @ deviant


Here's an amazing photo for a Wednesday. I took the advice from the photographer and listened to the song...and it felt very nice and perfect. Such a nice match.

What If..
(c) Khomenko @ deviant

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

trying to finish up what i started.

Life sucks. I have officially ruined what was suppose to be my masterpiece. I realized that my hand actually shakes a lot and I can't fineline very smooth lines...which is what led to my failure in finelining my sketch. Now I have ruined my original idea and must change some stuff...which I hate because I really loved my original idea. Grr...

Anyways, I have given up trying so hard to talk to people...recently.
I feel that it completely pointless for me to try so hard to talk to people when they obviously got nothing to say which is why I haven't really been speaking much. I notice that I sometimes force myself to speak even though I have nothing to say...which makes me feel like I'm bs-ing the whole day. So...if you want to to, feel free to talk to me, but mind that I won't be very responsive...and that's not because I'm sad, mad or 'sick'. Yupyup.
-Of course, this doesn't mean that I won't be physcobabbling at times...just less. I wonder if this will ruin my hyper image. o-o'''

Ah, I want to mention that today, I have just ruined the 'pure and innocent' image Ms. Ho and Nicola had of me...with my dark and twisted art. Muahahaha!
I probably ruined my image for the people whose reading this blog. Sorry to disappoint you all. =\


Juice King's bubble have failed me. D:

I dread for tomorrow.

Monday, May 10, 2010

things blings ring-a-ligga-ling

I'm an Atheist.
I live life believing the phrase: "Everything happens for a reason."

Every action I take always have a reason behind it. Obviously, people are misreading them. No, actually, no one is trying to read them at all. If any misunderstandings happen or if my actions seem harsh...that probably means you're not trying to understand what I'm doing, you idiot!

(I'm never harsh...I'm soft like a teddy bear...)


Anyways, I have already passed my period of self-pity in the end of grade 6. I realized that there are so many people out there that are by far much worse than I am. I wish that people would stop and think of OTHERS before pitying themselves on how horrible their lives are. Everyone goes through a horrible social time at school. Everyone (most) people goes through financial difficulties. Everyone has their own problems. Stop being such wusses and self-pitying yourself. You're living. Isn't that a gift already?

If you have a family, if you have education, if you have food, if you have water, if you have a roof to live under, if you have clothes to wear, if you are able to read this blog entry...



Feel regrets. Make things better. Think about your actions. Do what you believe is right. Live with no regret. Live life to the fullest (so cliche!).
If you want to die, then go die somewhere else...but remember, you have officially ruined the lives of at least 34681 people because of your stupid and ungrateful action.
Not to mention, you have officially lost your chance of ever winning a lottery ticket and driving a ice cream truck.

Go on...go die with the thought of missing the chance to see Joyce take over the world. Tough luck, sucker.

(If you're Christian, then you have just offended God with your actions and to me, I think just by destroying your life should be a sin. Selfish act done by a selfish person with no hope. SHAME ON YOU!)

Everyone feels lonely. Even if they're surrounded by friends and classmates, everyone feels lonely some point in their life. It not just one person.
Sometimes, I feel so out of place, even though I'm laughing with someone.

Stop self-pitying yourself and find the place you belong.
If you can't, you're not trying hard enough. If you can't, you're just wuss. If you can't...then just f*cking wait because out of the 6,697,254,041 people on Earth, there's bound to be someone to keep you company.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

return of the fuhrer


i can't believe i was holding my breath for almost the whole time
i'm so excited for the next



I brought this on myself. regret regret regret.

scared teary-eyed nervous anxious shivering goosebumps excited overwhelmed depressed.
scared scared scared scared.
im about to pee my pants.

so not doing this again...240am in the morning.

so awesome.

won't be sleeping tonight for sure.

Friday, May 7, 2010


I clench my eyes and I bite down on my existing teeth and I think my jaw might be breaking and I squeeze my hands and I dig my fingers through the hard rubber surface of the tennis balls and my fingernails crack and my fingernails break and my fingernails start to bleed and I curl my toes and they f*cking hurt and I flex the muscles in my legs and they f*cking hurt and my torso tightens and my stomach muscles feel as if they're going to collapse and my ribs feel as if they're caving in on themselves and it f*cking hurts my my balls are shrinking and the shrinking f*cking hurts and my d*ck is hard because my blood hurts and my blood wants to escape and is seeking exit through my d*ck and my d*ck f*cking hurts and my arms are straining against the thick blue nylon straps and the thick blue nylon straps are cutting my flesh and it f*cking hurts and my face is on fire and the veins in my neck want to explode and my brain is white and it is melting and it f*cking hurts.

a million little pieces (69)

Thursday, May 6, 2010

super power!

If you asked me in the past: "If you could have any super power, what power would you want?", I would have responded with something like, the ability to fly, super speed (or something like the Jumper), fire, ice...something like that.

Now, I think I would like a power to...not really read minds, but to be able to just touch someone's hand and know everything about them. The thoughts they have thought about, the feelings they have felt before, their past, present, future? Well, future isn't that necessary, but yeah. Something like that. That sounds a bit like the girl from Evermore. I guess, more like...being able to be in someone else's shoe...that is the power I want. I think if I did have that power, I would be a wise person. Haha. But then again, if I did have any kind of powers, I would probably wish I don't have it. The cliché, but true, phrase: "You always want what you don't have."
Anyways, I think looks can be pretty deceiving. Not just appearance-wise, but everything in general. I was reading a bit of A Million Little Pieces and I came across the line where James Frey said, "Looks are not deceiving" (pg. 35), and for some reason...I laughed. I guess that's what lead me to ponder about whether Looks are deceiving or not. I suppose it's not just looks...(as I mentioned above), I think actions are included.

Does getting low grades (or failing) make a person stupid?
Does being born into a wealthy family and living a luxurious life make a person lucky?
Does a smile on a peron's face mean they're happy?
Does hanging and always talking to someone make them your best friend?
Does a more costly shirt makes it better than a bargained one?
Does looking pretty mean you're pretty inside as well?
Does helping others make you a nice person?
Does having a lot of friends make you less lonely?
Does having a well-paid job make you more prestigious than others?
Does being rich make you more prestigious?

Does being poor mean you don't have class?
Does being surrounded by people mean you're more well-liked?

Does knowing a lot of people mean you're popular?
Does reading a lot make you the smarter one?
Does being first place make you the winner?
Does being ahead of another make you the better one?
Does hanging with a person make you their best friend?
Does being right once mean you're forever right?
Does making an error mean you can't change (you're wrong for life)?
Does not being friends anymore mean you're enemies?
Does knowing big words make you the nerd?
Does having fun mean you're not studious?
Does caring about your marks make you a perfectionist?
Does not caring about your marks make you dumb?
Does talking a lot mean you're not shy?
Does talking slow make you demented?
Does not answering mean you don't know the answer?
Does listening mean you're respecting?

If only everyone (myself included) don't jump into conclusions. I really wish people would stop pretending to be thinking in other people's point of view when they actually aren't. Drop the wise act.
-I feel so annoyed of the fake-ness. I see people using each other everywhere, not that there aren't any who truly mean to help and are truly kind.

I'm not the perfect person, but I don't lie, that's what I can guarantee. No fake-ness from me, I can say that's for sure, but I am on/off. Haha. Anyways, I've been trying to probe into people...lately...for a while now. Been reading someone's blog and yeah...know more about them. I realized the people who I'm really alike, I don't talk much's so weird. Don't know if they know it or not, but yeah, feels like a really weird least I feel it - not sure if it's a mutual feeling.

I want to do some art, but I don't know what to start...and I haven't finished my old projects. I'm still shocked I finished my mosaic...the poopy one.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

waiting waiting // National Geographic love!!

I'm waiting on facebook till it's 12:00 so I can be the 'first' to say happy birthday to Narada. I would call her, but she doesn't use a cell so if I call her house...I'm sure her parents won't be very pleased with the stalker me.
My gift for her sits right next to my laptop and I have written a letter-card! xD It feels so delicate, so I haven't touched it ever since I bought it. I'm so scared of ruining the perfect ribbon! I hope she does like my does have a meaning to it - a retarded one. Anyhow~


I spent an hour or 2 watching National Geographic! I was watching this excavation which was totally fascinating. Somewhat eerie...just everything in general was so perfect...the whole time, things were very was so...exquisite. Definitely want to see and learn more about it. It was basically an excavation for a commerce vessel that was found few years ago. This documentary was from 2003. In 2003, they went back to the SAME place to look for this ship which was actually a Byzantine Empire! Isn't that amazing?

And the supposed 'eerie' fact is that...the ship was actually REALLY well perserved. They found another ship remains with a whole lot of jugs. It was so mesmirizing to see the mechanical archeologist, Hercules, reveal all these treasures! When Hercules dust off the layer of mud and icky stuff, the color of the jug was bright orange! There were NO barnicles or any sea creatures, nothing at all! The jugs were probably used by the people of Constantinople. There was a reference to this on this picture, which I am uncertain of...sadly.

Anyhow, it's just so amazing. -sigh-
I'm still feeling very blahh~ I just sat there, watching without blinking. It's so weird. -sigh- National Geographic always remind me of my Archeology dream I use to have...until I realized the pay is really low and it's hard to survive...if you don't find anything amazing. I actually thought that job would suit me. I get to see all these amazing things and travel and learn about history! I actually love learning about history. Henry VIII is just so amusing a weird sort of way.

Aside from that, basically...I just love the sea. So many mysterious waiting for us to uncover under the water, in space, everywhere! This is a time where I would wish I have 9 lives. =D
1. Be mafia boss
2. Take over the world as a King
3. Archeologist
4. Spoiled rich princess
5. Astronaut
6. Doctor/surgeon
7. Lawyer
8. Dolphin trainer
9. Manga Artist/Blogger

One day, I wish I can go visit the Black Sea. I realized I forgot to mention that. It's amazing, everything...the jugs and the ships, were perserved SO well is most likely because of the anoxic layer of the Black Sea, where there's no oxygen. The wood of the ships, the decks and everything was not eaten was because not a single sea creature is able to live in these poisonous water.

Anyhow, time for bed. =)

breezes & tears

Very random title, yes.

Actually, not really. I came home with nothing to do, since I have no homework. I still don't have that focus to actually sit down calmly and read a book, even though my list of books to read is still very very very long...and lost - haha. I ended up reading about my beloved Ulquiorra-sama, who I adore very much.

He's just so cool and mysterious. His personality and attitude<3 SUPER cool! And yeah, he kind of got my all fangirly again...and I thought my fangirl-ness died last year. Anyhow, yeah, I ended up crying about him...when he died. He was still SO cool! It's just really sad. D: He finally realized why they were 'strong'.

So there's the reason for 'tears'. As for 'breezes', it just SUCH a nice day. I love these summer afternoons with the pleasant breeze and beautiful sunsets. Somewhat depressing as well, sunsets...ending of another day. I must mention that I'm also eating the awesome Melona popcicles! (You can purchase them @ Yohan). I love the feeling I get on 'these' days. I don't know how to describe. It's just so chilled out and relaxed, etc. etc. It's not really that simple, but yeah. And there when I get these feelings, there's just certain songs that adds to this wonderful feeling. Right now, I'm also reminded of Natsume Yuujinchou, which is awesome. I guess I watched it while I was getting this feeling. Anyways, I keep blabbing about 'this feeling' and I'm getting pretty annoyed typing that out, LOL!

I also have a headache. I lost my cellphone! I checked every pocket, every corner of the room and in my bag, the car, everywhere! I think I really have memory loss, my head hurts like crazy from thinking and I kept running up and down the stairs to look for my cellphone. I went over the whole car twice. -sigh-

This sucks. Plus, I am quite disappointed we didn't get the 12 minute run. Although I did complain about it yesterday, that I do have one, I was REALLY mentally prepared for it. Also, I'm depressed on how horrible I did on the Sci test. I thought it would be easy, so I didn't exactly study. Well, my study is...going over it twice. When I think Chem, I think about the whole balancing, writing equations, naming and all that. Well, I guess that's what we did mainly in Mr. Eastwood's that's what I thought would happen..since he's a chem teacher.

Anyhow, I guess I should mentally prepare for Thursday. I will have a 12 minute run then, and then after that head-pounding experience, I will take another mental shock. Another mind blow because of my science test result...if she hands it back.

Not to blame Ms. Semi, because I know it's my fault for not going over the details of the chapters, but she can't teach. Some of the stuff, I absolutely had no idea we even learned. Plus, the wording of some questions were weird...what's with the super long questions? o-o Some stuff were completely irrelevant, I ended up looking at the squiggled words instead. Anyhow, person-wise, I kind of like Ms. Semi...but teacher-wise, I don't. I prefer Mr. Eastwood's class =D Though I failed badly, he was an awesome teacher with AWESOME notes! Like, I don't really have to listen and just focus on copying the notes because I can just reread it and I will understand everything!

Main point: his tests are short. Haha!

Monday, May 3, 2010

drowsy feeling, heavy eyelids threatening to close any moment now.

I continue to pray for rain tommorow, or at least wet tracks so the 12 minute run will be post-poned. I really don't think I can do a Science unit test (3/4 chapters) after a 12 minute run, when my head is pounding and I'm all sweaty.
Amazingly, I finished my homework (other than a the last bit of math which I can definitely pull off during lunch) around 7pm. Not to mention, I finished the mosaic I have been working on for 3 days! I'm actually quite proud that I finished, not at how it looks though. Appearance-wise, it looks very amateur, but I have been working on this mosaic for fun, just to feel at ease and stress-free. It worked.

My dad came back on Saturday! I'm shocked I didn't really get to blog about that. I had Pho, Vietnamese noodles, that day for dinner and then I had Korean food on Sunday.
On Saturday, I also realized I spent 10 minutes staring at the trees. It was very weird how I was mesmirized by the trees. It seemed as though they were dancing with the wind. At that moment, it felt like a form of communcation between the trees and wind. Felt very very alive to me, everything. It was a very awkward moment.


Anyways, today lunch was awesome! Mr. Kwan drove us to around Cambie to look for the Tenku trailer shop. We manage to find it at a very, very reserved place...which was intimidating looking. Haha. Like, the location was very discrete...seemed like some drug dealing place. In the end, we did manage to buy those huge takoyaki-like food and yeah. I love takoyaki, the Japanese mayonnaise and everything (please refer to previous blog entries about my mayonnaise obsession). I guess it might taste a little weird to some people who aren't use to the awkward taste of the Japanese mayonnaise mixed with Takoyaki sauce. The taste differs from regular Kraft Mayonnaise.

Aside from that, the take-out boxes was very very adorable! Other than the Tenku trailers, there was this noodle trailer which you can WALK INSIDE! It was so Japanese-style looking, all wooden inside, like those classic sushi shops, and this other Cone store. Like you know, the hand-cones you can order in sushi shops? They had these HUGE hand cones you can pick different things to put in. Very cool.

Mr. Kwan's driving is awesome! xD

I suppose I shall go off to bed now and perhaps review my Science tomorrow morning again. I am absolutely not confident in remembering examples/names...I don't know how to explain myself since I forgot already. I guess it's better if I do review tomorrow.

-cross fingers- Rain rain rain rain rain rain rain...